Naked Trucker

I mean, i dont think i could do it, but it would be fun. It would be fun to be a young and handsome Catholic priest. If you were a cool guy, everybody would love you. You'd get to talk to a lot of people. And you'd definitely have the seat of honor everywhere you went and shit. And yea, i think it would be cool to make friends with a young rabbi like in the ben stiller movie that im watchin now. Anyway, none of this would ever happen because im less eloquent than whoever writes for Edward Norton. What was this post about? Whatever. I'm bored and watching movies

Racism From Old White People Is Hard To Listen To, But You Gotta Force Yourself To Pay Attention

Give and you shall receive. I can see that. I mean, it just happened a moment ago. Right in front of my eyes. Nothing big or glamorous, but satisfying nonetheless.

I was gorging myself with tortilla chips while watching latenight TV when I got down to my last chips. It was time to stop getting fatter and put the chips away, so I took a moment to decide how to eat the last three I had in my hand. One down, easy. Two down, one left! Three d- ... Does Riley want one?

Riley is my dog. We call him dumb and fat, but really he's quite superior to most dogs (and some humans, I may add). He can play hide and seek (almost, anyway. He can sniff you out when you're hiding, but he really only hides his face. He thinks that as long as he can't see you, you can't see him. But that's close enough). He understands a lot of words and phrases, although he pretends he doesn't. Riley knows basic words like "sit", "stay", "good boy", etc. But he also knows "get the hell out", "what are you looking at?", and "dial 911!" We really only call him stupid because we kinda think he's a human. He's just the dumbest human that I've ever met. But that's not a fair way to put it. Riley is a very good dog. But that's not point.

Riley most pronounced talent is his ability to beg. And when that third chip was almost in my mouth he turned on the heat. I felt it! My cheek was burning. I turned to see his big, well, puppy dog eyes boring straight into me. I knew what he wanted. But I was busy gaining unnecessary weight. Did I have the time, the energy, the willpower to hand my last tortilla chip to this sub-human?

It turns out I did. I flipped the chip up high and held my breath. Riley did not disappoint. He caught it, he caught it good. He just snatched it out of the air and snapped down with a satisfying CRUNCH. That's what did it for me. The crunch. That was the sound of our comaraderie, of our friendship. If I could sum up our entire relationship as interspecies friends in just one sound. That crunch would have to be it. We were an inseparable team, and the crunch proved it. I wish I could have sounds to describe all my relationships with everything. With my friends (it would probably be a belch), with my family (an angry yell), or even with strangers (a sniff? an "umm"?) I could go on forever describing our moment, because it really was an astonishing moment for me, but I won't.

But I never would have heard this crunch, if I didn't take a second to think about another person, or dog, I guess. I know it sounds like such a small thing and I really should not be boasting about my temporary bout with selflessness (the past two sentences alone have 5 "I's" and a "my"), but this event just clicked in my brain (two "my's"). I learned a lesson: Give. Give whatever you have. Even if you have nothing but a half-stale tortilla chip, give. Give and you shall receive. I received a confirmation of brotherhood with my dog in exchange for a 15 calorie snack.

MORAL of the story: Give and you shall receive.

SUBMORAL of the story: Don't mess with my dog. Riley will outsmart you and then he will fuck you up, son!




Does anybody else think Conan O'Brian looks kinda chinky?


YOUR MOVE, MORGAN!

Stan Darsh

DEAR CONNIE CHUNG!

please dont die in taiwan. i know there was an earthquake, but you be safe with your family, yea? good.

Gonna See If I Can't Unwind

Watching Southpark christmas specials didnt do it. Tickle me Emo almost did it. http://www.ebaumsworld.com/2006/12/tickle-me-emo.html. And I didnt get to see a Christmas Story. Eww. This christmas kinda blows.

Got To Be A Better Way

Will somebody please cure this crushing boredom. I've watched more tv in the past couple days than i have ever watched ever ever ever. I'm going to smash my head into the wall if something doesnt happen soon. refaaaaaaaaaaaffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffgsdf;eakjr;glkj;vaweosrifvnkdl'avserfweeeesgplkdfmvvvaesrtpseriyhjjc/lkvb

Aw Here It Goes Again

BIATCH!

Physical Anthropology - A
Western Civilization: 1714-present - B+
Academic Writing - B
Major Works Of European Literature: Homer to Dante - PASS
GPA: 3.5


No sweat! Suck my D, college.



In other news, i'm a douchebag.
In, still, other news, i still feel weird.

I've Come To Decide That The Things That I Tried Were In My Life Just To Get High On

RHCP dominated the day, i guess. But i'm unsure of it's lyrical powers, still. Although Decision was half my idea, I still feel shitty. Ugh. I'll see.

Sorry for the xanga post. Heyo, keep on keepin on.

Cos Dat's How She ROOOOLLLLLLLLS, Son!

Wow. VH1 is eating my life. Not that it's all that great. It's all rushing back to me. You can't run forever, even though you try. Ball and Chain, huh?

At least im learning how to play it.

"Ivy Miller, Will You Be My Valentine"

Goddamn you, Casey Affleck. Whatever. Reese Witherspoone is actually really hot with red hair. I think lots of people are really hot with red hair. I'm thinking of inseminating a red head girl and then stealing the baby so that my child will be ultra amazing. I shall then proceed to live vicariously through it. My life as a red head. I should write a book like that.

Sloopy

Once again, Jenny has managed to brighten up my day. After my two hard exams, which took 6 fucking hours, btw, my hand is so beat i feel like chewing off my fingertips. So I go to check the mail...empty again. I come back to my room to fix my bike, and i see that mark has already checked the mail and had thrown it on top of my laptop. What a surprise! Jenny wrote me another postcard! From Croatia! It's nice to know that someone is thinking of you. That's why i feel like shit. I gotta send you guys some shit. Like now. I gotta find some ucsb postcards and send them out to all of you. But I'm fucking lazy. We'll see if i'm a good friends or not, eh?


Coming back to finals. Fuck. I was all studied up. I spent a couple days just studying, productively, i might add. I finished at around 11 oclock the night before. PERFECT TIMING! I would stay up another hour and talk, get 7 hours of sleep, shit, shower, shave, before getting to my Anthro 5 exam, yea? Well, I go to bed at midnight and i can't fall asleep! It's to hot, the cover is too light, the window is open and the drape blows against my head, my arm is uncomfortable and now it's asleep before i am fuckfuckfuck sleep. This is extremely unusual. I usually fall asleep within like 5 mins. This wasn't good. I asked mark for a sleeping pill and he didnt have any. So i thought about what i normally do before i go to bed, and remembered a couple thigns i forgot, so i did that and tried again. Nothing. Well, i eventually fell asleep around 2, and woke up at 745. 15 mins before my final. BADBADBAD. neel had to wake me up. i just threw on pants and ran and brushed my teeth and biked to class. I kicked ass on that final i think, but I'm still pissed off that my alarm clock didnt go off. Well, 3 hours later i had lunch and then at noon i began my western civ final. Shit that was long. Easy, but long. My TA better stand up and applaud after he reads my first two essays. They were simply amazing. The last one was simply shit. I couldnt even pick up my pen, my fingers were so tired. But i finished and now i'm nearly done with finals. I just have my Clit final tomorrow and well, that's pass/fail now cos my teacher is a dumbshit, so as long as i dont fail it, i'll be fine. A good quarter. I have over a 3.0, but i'm not sure how far. That makes me really happy. Fuck you school. I beat you. See you next quarter. I'm off for 3 weeks vacation.

I'm going to have fun, make some money, hang out with old buddies, have christmas, and party a little bit too. Just can't wait, motherfucker.

Swing Life Away

Oh. And i'm learning guitar. It's awesome. So awesome.

Pet Sounds

I hope my life doesnt turn out like Sloop John B. I think I might have to start reinvesting my resources. But it might be too late to find new peeps here.

rarara

i can't write 'fuck' big enough to express my anger


later:

sometimes i think that god or karma takes away all the little things from me so that i can have the big things in life. example, my parents can pay for my education but i never get a higher roll in risk, i tend to spit when im excited, and i never win anything that involves luck. i'm not sure if i would like to trade this in. a "normal" life with nothing but little losses is just mediocre. a "disadvantaged" (what else could i say instead of this? "not awesome"?) always has its ups and downs and thats what makes it great.

i think i summed it up beautifully when i told natalie that my life has no plot.

shut up and get to studying, novak

Mississippi On Her Knees

Fuck this shit. Since today is already shitty, I'm going to go to bed and tempo run in the afternoon.

a hero Zero with a capital Z

Something about Job and Lindsay making funny chicken sounds is making me feel funny. It makes me feel motivated to do something I just dont know what. I feel really good when i think of their funky chickens. NMuch better than I feel now, cos i feel shitty. But taht's not being addressed here. I feel like i have to do something like write Morgan and Bridie their letters. But it's not even that. I almost feel compelled to go watch all 3 seasons of ArresteD. I wish I could fulfill this feeling. It seems to promise good feelings if i do what it tells me to. Actually, it smells of better times in years past. I didn't think that ArresteD had that big of an effect on me. It was funny, and i watched it with friends, and there was the amazing amount of inside jokes, but other than that... I dont know.

Hey Miss Murder

Oh. And Raven is ugly now. She used to be soooo hot.

I want to write a book about how mean I am. I think it will sell because i'm that much of a jerk.

Eye Mull Of Match Sheen

Speaking of Beckham, you know who's another contradiction? Spiderman. Well, the movie. Look at Toby Maguire. Weak, nerdy, ugly. Yes, i know that's why they picked him to play peter parker, but look at spiderman! I would love to look like spiderman. Hell. I'd do spiderman. Too bad guys. The people you play are cooler than you. Ehhhhh same for me.

Ugly Babes on Shitty Commercials

I'm back in the city and it's cold. Like. Cold. It reminds me of christmas. That cold. We just had dinner and I'm pretty full. This is kinda what I hpe to accomplish during this vacation.

Run a bit.
Fuckin read my assignments
figure out how to hang out and not spend money
see if i can get my minifridge AND the chair down to sb.
Not freeze
Ugh. I dont care.

Bonin Posh

Wow. I would have thought taht David Beckham would have a manlier voice, considering he makes the ladies faint for him. He sounds like me but more nasal. Poor guy.

Fuck i banged my hand up

my hand hurts. yes this weekend was shitty. even though i got to see jon stewart who was amazing. first of all, i didnt get to exercise. second of all, i cant spell exercise for the life of me. third of all, i got too messed up on thursday and now i cant pull the "i've never thrown up" card. fourth of all, i wasted friday night watching movies. fifth, i hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate clubbing. sixth, my friends depress me when im drunk. i just cant handle them. they dont even do anything, it's just that i cant look at them and i need to run away. sometimes i do. and i stumble home by myself miraculously or, just as miraculously, find sam. elventyith, the fucking cab driver fucking tried to rip us off and i am not stoked about this at all. 2408093w854th i hate clubbing. BLUth, thxgiving is going to suck, i feel it in the air. i feel it in my bones. i've analyzed it and i now know that notihg good will come from this. just me feeling shitty. sideways8th: i am so fucking sexually frustrated. it really sucks having yoongi so far away. not to mention that im horrible at phone convos, and lets face it she is too, so i dont get much consolation from that. other people have long distance bfs and it doesnt seem to bother them. the guys got out of their relationships though, which seems paridoxical because some guys have to stay in relationships if there are girls staying in relationships, right? wahtever. yoongi's not going to be here for a good portion of thxgiving and thats what matters. sucks. 2093580329850348-63840683240860348603486093484603486093840968th: i FUCKING, HATE, CLUBBING. IT SUCKS HARD. IT SUCKS A GOLFBALL THROUGH A GARDEN HOSE.

ANSDLGJLDKGJ AND I DIDNT GET TO GO TO THE BEACH THIS WEEKEND WHICH IS WHAT I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO ALL FUCKING WEEK!QRQWKLTRJW$OITGsdio k;o ae. sd.

In Almost No Time

I was going to write about this, but i feel shitty. Yay facebook.

I come across as an asshole alot. It kinda sucks, but i try not to mind because i really do think that things are true or funny. But then i realized that other people can tell the truth or be funny and not be considered an asshole for doing so. I think alot of it has to do with my generally uneducated nature and my ability for being extremely inarticulate.

Sometimes, in order to not feel stupid, I back a side of an argument or whatever. Doesnt matter what. But generally i have no idea what im talking about. when people think i sound stupid, which i am, i have to defend myself so i dont seem even more stupid when its revealed that i have no idea whats going on. that usually leads to me making irrational arguments or me just being an asshole. theres number one.

when i finally do know whta im talking about, i speak too much like a 4th grader to communicate my idea properly. case in point, the last two entries. i upset a couple people with those posts, and even though they sound really horrible, i think alot of the things in it tend to be very true, especially here in sb. but the simple fact is that im too inarticulate to get these ideas across to you guys. its really too bad.

i thought about it, and the only times i can present a viable argument in which i dont sound like a dumshit or an asshole, is when i talk about myself or running. i can tell everybody what i feel, the way i see things, the way i process information etc. that is, if my mind allows me to put the correct words together. and then running. i think after 4 years of running nonstop i have a bit of an idea what im doing and what other people are doing. so fuck prutz his workouts are bullshit. and so is his overall coaching. but yea.

so my point is that if you want to argue or communicate your idea, you gotta be knowledgable on the subject and you gotta be articulate if you want people to a)take you seriously b)not get offended c)not kick your ass.

Like a Summer Rose

I dont believe in protecting my blogs from other people because i think that defeats the purpose of an online journal. But I got a message from May Chen, of all people, yesterday. Here's what she said:

"hey it's been a long time since we last talked. how have you been? how's ucsb?

ok, enough small talk. the reason why i'm writing to you is because steven told me the other day that his boss likes to google his employees' names. so out of curiosity, i googled steven's name and your blog popped out. it was not pretty.

i don't know if you can tell or not, but i like steven. take a look at my facebook pictures. i don't want him to get hurt by something you posted a year ago. he's been having a hard time adjusting to life on the east coast and he doesn't need this shit right now.

i realize that you and steven had a falling out back in high school. you are entitled to your own opinions but please, i'm asking you to take down that post (google steven's name, you'll know which one i'm talking about) not only for his sake but yours. it reflects pretty poorly on you.

speaking of things that reflect poorly on you, i saw your post about asians. not cool. i used to think pretty highly of you, but now i'm not so sure. again, you are entitled to you own opinions. but how does writing something like that resolve anything? aren't you just segregating people more? that post just makes you sound like the ignorant one. i'm surprised you still have asian (i'm sorry cantonese) friends. are you trying to renounce all your old asian friends or something? because that would do the trick.

sorry, i do think you are a good person.i'm just a little upset right now.

hey, if you're ever in the boston area, come visit me at wellesley. all women's college, you know. a lot of horny babes. you'd like that. about a quarter of them identify as some sort of asian, but hey, that means 75 percent of them do not. :)"



i thought about it for a bit and decided that she didn't know what i meant. upon thinking further on this however, i do realize that i at least need to clarify a bit more when i write stuff online. lemme take a second shot, may.

first of all. with the steven thing. i really do regret knowing him, not necessarily because of who he is, but really because this whole thing is a mess. because somehow we ended up hating eachother. thats what really gets me. i'll say it one more time, i would rather never have met him than have us hate eachother like this.

second of all. the asians. i was pressed for time and came off sounding a bit harsh and all encompassing. i really didnt mean all asian people, because there are so many asian people who are nothign like what i said. what i was really angry at is that the many asian people that i observe here in sb fit this stupid generalization that i described. i was lucky to go to lowell because there were so many types of asian people who went there. many many of them who didnt fit the generalization. but there were many many more who did though. it wouldnt be so bad if it didn't have such a bad connotation. it meant that everybody who fit the generalization was necessarily afraid to break outside their boxes. afraid to leave their comfort zone. as somebody who was forced to break out of his comfort zone many times against my will, this makes me angry. why should other people get to have happy, ignorant lives while i get to rot in these stupid, hateful emotions which i am not articulate enough to explain. thats how i got may upset at me.

if i was really a good writer, my point would have been made already. but im not. so i doubt i really accomplished anything here. lets see if i can sum it up. "many second generation asian americans (or at least the ones in sf/sb) are too successful at alieviating the pressure to break outside their comfort zones. they do this by hanging out exclusively with other asian kids. it really shows here. this makes me angry."

if it makes anybody feel any better, i really hate white people too. especially white girls. i think the only race that i really like are eskimos. they're too rare to allow group think. because that's where this all stems from. people think they're different, and think that they have to hang out with their like, and that just really makes people more separate.

whatever. im probably just ignorant too.

sorry may, but this really is how i feel.

Just When You Get On A Roll

After spending 18 years in a nearly completely asian environment and then examining an other environment where asian people become more of a rarity, i have decided that i hate asian people. dont get me wrong, it's not in that racist way because there are many asian people who i love. morgan, connie, chris ha, michelle nam, and ytom. it's more of a i hate people who act asian in america.

what do i mean by this? it's really hard for me to understand myself. let me tell you what bugs me and i'll see if i can find out why. i really dislike it when asian people pretend they're black and get all smartass to white people. i dislike it when anybody does that, but at least black people can play the 'rich white boy' card and kinda get away with it (not really, but what can i do about it? im spoiled). asian people dont have that right. it's more of a 'my parents worked really hard to get to this country and made damn sure that i got excellent grades so that i could grow up and make their international journey worthwhile' card. it just doesnt work because really, the only difference between that and myself is a one of two generation head start. very soon the two groups will be completely indistinguishable.

but asian people dont want to be indistinguishable. that's why they are ignorant of other cultures; that's why they only hang out with other asian people. suresure. in sf asian people hung out with asian people because it was statistically in their favor. but in a city as culturally diverse as san francisco it was shocking to realize that on average asian people know nothing of mexican-american and irish-sanfranciscan culture, not to mention everybody else who lives in our fair city. completely unacceptable. and then i come to santa barbara, whitest college in the uc system and what do i find? even though there is less than 1 asian person for every 6 students, asian people still hang out in clicks or 4 or more! lets find the possibility of that in a totally random selection. It's one twelevehundredninetysixth chance of that happening. Amazing spectacle! I'll tell you right now, my best friends here are the ones in my close vicinity. My roommate, across the hall, next door, down the hall a bit, and sure, lauren and caitlin from lowell. It's not like a pick only white people either. Afshin is persian, Mark is flip(ish), neel is indian and polish, joe is black, chris is asian, matt is chirish, jess is mexican. i think this is a bit statistically skewed too, at such a white school, how did i get so many ethnic friends? But yet again, these guys live with me.

I've spent so much time writing this and i dont even know why. I just saw the disgusting, fat, asian kid who always eats by himself in the dlg, and i guess i wondered why he wasnt sitting with all the other asian kids. you can't cure disgusting i guess.

moral of the story: i love asian people, but i wish they would stop being so goddamn ignorant.

and i hate anime




PS. did you know that filipino people here consider themselves asian? i think that sf flips were just intimidated by the large amounts of cantonese and felt the need to distinguish themselves a bit and started calling themselves 'pacific islander'. nobody has said that here.

Schelpin'

Man. I feel like shit. fuck i just messed up my goddamn keyboard> cant make fucking periods> fuckfuckfuck> whatever> today was shit> i lost my keys and now i depend on mark to get into my room> i better think a little ahead i guess> tomorrow is my midterm and i feel kinda crappy> they didnt teach us shit> i just read a fucking book while my prof stalled> goddamn bastard> i hope kittler and his buttfucked ta go to hell> i havent eaten a decent meal for days now and i cant even remember the last time i exercised> i mean> im losing weight> but not in agood way> and now i have to pick classes but they"re going to be tough shit> my comm class anyway> i mean> if i dont get a B in that class i literally wont be able to continue in the communications major> thats so much pressure> maybe i should only take three classes this quarter and do comm> or just fuck it all together> but no> i gotta try it at least and if i fuck up then well< to the fuck bad> i want to take intro to dramatic arts< comm one and history of latin america> and maybe if im taking comm i"ll just leave it at that or take beginning dance> haha> who"da thunkit> not me> but i dont even care now> i miss my keys> and i wish i didnt feel like such shit> shitshitshit thats what i feel>


oh> the one thing in the world that could possibly have made me happy betrayed me tonight> the camping trip is on the same night that jon stewart comes to town> i have the fucking ticket already! alsdjkglskdgj i want to go camping with my floor! but its fucking jon stewart> christ this sucks> maybe i"ll just jet down to el capitan after the show>>> fucking keyboard>>>

Bathed In the Morning Light, and You Weren't There To See

Camptown ladies never sang, only doo da day

So here it is. I hope you read it.

sofridayileftwithmyrideshare:
twohotgirlsandtheiradorabledog
itwastoodarktoreadmostofthetimesoifellasleepthelasttwohours
thenigotoncaltraintosfwhereimentyoongi
itwasgreatseeingherandwetookthebusbacktoherplace
thenigotaridefromjininhissupedupmiatatosafewaywhereheboughtmealctobringbacktosb
nextwewenttoggpwheretommytriedtoshowoffhisdrifingskill
ehhhhhhnohaha
somebodyhadtheideatogodrivingonmounttam
wewentthereandscreechedaroundcornersandcliffs
youknowthosesignswiththetwistyarrows
thoseones
wedrovebacktosfgoing100mphontheggbridgewiththetopdownandmusicblaring
thesoundwasactuallysettogetlouderaswewentfaster
isleptatjinsforalloffourhoursandthenwewenttomalibu
grandprixracingwhatcanisaywhatcanisayscreechingaroundcornersagainitwassoamazinglyawesome
pizzaandbeerfollowed
thenfrancecheckedmeintothehiltongardeninninsanmateo
ohyea
stupidtravellodgechargedme150bucksforaroomididntevenusecosididntcancelmyreservation24hoursbefore
wtfthatssomuchmoneyfuckthemfuckmesljdlksjg
butyea
wenttotommysandmydudswerebumsohedeckedmeoutinhisfruityclothes
imustsayidmakeagreatlookinggayguyminusthemuscles
boat!
wetookpicsandwenttoinnout
itwasalongwalkbutnottoofar
notfarenoughtostartcryingandretreat
ughihatewhenpeopledothis
especiallyinlargegroupsthatswhysmallonesarebetter
innoutwascoolcoswegottolookintohootershehe
thenweboardedaftersometechincaldifficultybutthatwaseasilyoverridden
jesusthereweresomanysecurityguardsitwassoweird
itwasthesameboattooverynostalgic
thedancewascoolcosididnthavetohangoutwithpeopleididntlike
itwasprettyjustyoongiandiandthatwassoawesome
thiswasthefirsttimeidancedwithoutalcinsuchalongtime
imsurprisediwasnthalfbad
butyeaigottoseeallmyfriendsagain
ididntrealizethatiactuallycaredalotforalotmorepeoplethanioriginallythought
notjustlikeytomandmorganandallthembutlikelotsofpeople
butyeaafterboatytomandibolted
afterthatitgetsblurryandfun
iwokeupthenextmorningandaccidentallyatethebrunchbuffetwhichithoughtwascontinentalbreakfastbutitwasreally13dollarsfuckfuckfuck
theniwaitedinthelobbyfor4hoursformyridetopickmeup
mikesimanekpickedmeupandwedrovehisbrotomountainviewandpickeduphisroommateincampbell
hisroommatenickwassuchadealerhaha
"manihaveathouinmypocketandiwasgonnapickupsomeyayoandshroomsbutididntgetaroundtoit"
andwhenwewerelike45minsawayfromhishouseandhisjankyasssketchyassbikerackitsmaincomponentbeingthetensionfromthebikeontwobungeesfelloffthecarat80mph
hahahawehadtothrowitinabushandhopethathisparentswouldpickitupthenextday
wegotbackat1030(afterleavingat330fuckfuckfuck)andiunpacked
imissedsfandimissedsb
sadsadsad
butnowhappyhappyhappy
sldkjglksdjglksdjglkjsdlgkjsoisoijgthanksforagreatweekendlsjg;lkjgljadffaldfhj
<3


peeessdonttellmysisiwasinsf

Got the Gold Rush

I dont know about you guys, but i hate it when conservatives play that "I live in california so i'm oppressed by liberals. If liberals are so tolerant, why don't they tolerate my views? Huh? Gotcha there!" Well, cmon. If we're talking socially conservative (economic conservatism can be counted out of this battle, but political conservatism in the places in which it overlaps with social conservatism is still fair game), then there is no point to be made. The thing is that tolerant people can logically be intolerant of intolerant people. It is their goal to make sure that everybody accepts everybody else. You can't accept somebody who doesn't accept everybody else. I hope you know this is a hard thought to convey for me, so please dont be angry if you're really confused. I hope you can just know what i'm trying to say and then maybe see if you can help me develop it a bit more.

On the other hand, I remember Connie telling me something interesting. "Well, everybody is conservative," she said. "And not just a little bit. Everybody is a lot bit conservative." Her point was that I dont believe in things like NAMBLA, i don't believe in people killing for revenge, I don't believe in eating eggs sunnyside up. I dont think that any of things should be legal, just like they haven't been since forever. Some extremely liberal people might feel differently, though, and call me a conservative asshole. And maybe I am.

But then again, the flaw in that is that I believe that people should be free to do whatever they choose as long as it does not encroach on the rights of others. Adults should not fuck children because they are not old enough to give consent, vendettas are frowned upon because other people are not allowed to live out their lives, and eggs smell nasty and make me gag. To ensure that everybody is allowed to believe in what they feel is correct and do whatever they think is correct, we have to allow everybody else to believe and do what they want to. We must be intolerant of some things to be make sure that everybody has the ability to live their lives. Tolerance necessitates intolerance of intolerance.

The point is, fuck college republicans. University professors are liberal because they feel the need to educate others and not make a mint for themselves.


Sorry if i'm a horrible writer, but i'm going to write an article for the nexus and i dont care if it sucks or if i have to do hw instead.

White As Snow

I totally deserved last night. After such a shitty weekend, too! And it's not looking up too much for this weekend either. But damn. I had the impulse to buy lots of rootbeer so i could play (root) beer pong. I had a three dollar buy in and everybody had a whole bunch of fun. After that was done, I went to IV with some friends, but i didn't really want to hang out with them at the moment, so i waited for afshin and kristi and all them to come along. i met michelles younger sister and that was really weird. I thought they were just joking, but i guess not. She must have had fun looking at us. Yea but anyway, I went to a party my friend Reggie was at. It wasn't a big party, but there were two beerpong tables which i totally kicked ass on. I played a game with krisi as my partner, and after like, half a game she was out of it. She just fell out of nowhere and knocked the entire table over. Partyfoul times 10. So we decided to leave before anything happened to her. We made a pitstop at another outdoor party cos they had some beats that the girls wanted to dance to. I saw zach too! And then we left and afshin and i made a new friend. we were stumbling a bit so katrina gave us some support back and kept us babbling. then we got back and freaking brian, our ra was walking down the hall. i did okay getting by, but fucking afshin was gonegonegone. im not sure if we got written up, but i dont think so. we got back to michelles room and hung out a bit before going to bed.

fuckfuckfuck. i needed that. today i have lots of hw, lots of working out, lots of tanning, and then maybe another night on the town.

Neutral Milk Hotel

I feel like such shit. Ohhhhh god i feel horrible. This week has been one of the worst weeks ever. MIP, ID taken, i'm a dick, i'm dry, i'm bored, etcetc. i really just want to sleep cos i didnt get any last night, but i want to go out. Aw fuckfuckfuck. And i sucked at pool. I haven't gotten to work out in the past three days. I feel white and fat and slow and young. I want to lie down on the ground and see what people say.



EMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMOEMEMEOEMOEMOMEOMEOMEMEOMEOMOEOMEMEOEMOMEOMEOEEEOOOMEMEMEOMEOMEMOEMOMEOMEOMEOMEOMEOMOEMOEMOEM


what the fuck, mates?

Memories of Everything That Blew Through

Jesus. I feel kinda sad. I want to work out, but i have so much hw. I guess i'll go tonight. It should make me feel better. I need to stop eating so much. It was okay for the first week or two when i had no hw and therefore, could run, swim, and exercise more. But now that i have to do all this shit i cant find the time to do anything during the day if i want to play at night. Whatever. Weekend tomorrow. I'm going to meet new people tomorrow. During the day i'll scout the other halls and look for new friends to hang out with. I need just the slightest distance between me and my hallmates. Not because their less than awesome, it's just that i can't limit myself to them yet. I have too many new people living in this building to forget about the other 7 floors. In other words, my new friend count is going down. I need to make f1(x)<5. Something like that. I got my absentee ballot today. But i dont care or know about anybody who's running. If this was a couple years ago, I would have voted for gary coleman. But i srsly hate angelides and schwarzenegger. fuck governor. i'll write myself in. i could get a decent 20 votes for that... sorry about the no paragraph thing. i'm really not too into writing good posts anymore, so i just let it all flow out and not flip out about what comes out. note to everybody. bring lots of chopsticks when you go to college. those things were lifesavers. i fed 10 people with cup noodle at my place. OH SHIT WHO CAUGHT SOUTH PARK!? IT WAS SO HILARIOUS! CHOCOLATE HOTDOG, BROWN DRAGON, MUD MONKEY! SLDKJGSLKJGDLKGJSDG I GOT SUCH A BIG CLUE POINTING THIS WAY! oh shit. goaltimate and sexjeopardy today. can't wait! but i have lots of hwhwhhwhwhwhwhwhwhwhwhwhw. whatever. tomorrow, man. after class. just fun. just fun.

peace out. i'll exercise when i can..

Entertaining the People. You're Always Bitchin!

I'm just full of shitty ideas. Now i just feel silly. I just want to go to bed, but everybody is still in here!

Freakshow is the most messed up show ever!

Cigarettes, Suffragettes, and More

Okay. So this is kind of a phil yee post. ye be warned.

I used to have very regular bowel movements. Every day before and after practice I would take a short and then long shit. On weekends, I'd wake up, shit, shower, and shave. Every day I would be one with my bowel.

Then summer came and I ruined my routine! It would become whenever I could shit, which was rarely. I found myself pooping closer to once every 2 days. Worse, it was always at different times of the day, usually at inopportune times.

Now that college is here, I have an unlimited supply of food during lunch and dinner. I have fake chinese food, fake mexican food, and whatever else they have. That's just fine and dandy, it's just that I have to shit all of the time! I find myself longing for a bathroom every hour or so. sometimes i ignore it and it goes away. Other times, I make it to the bathroom, just barely, to find out that i really dont need to shit (and i'm like WTF i just peed sitting down for no reason). Still other times I have to shit and it's not a nice one. No more can i count on the regular fiberous solid shit. It's that dirty, bumpy, whisp of a shit. The one you take a long time making sure you got everything out, then spend forever wiping.

Between all these activities, I've realized that i've spent too much time thinking about shitting. I shouldn't have to deal with this, but alas, i eat way too much!


I need to get bronze.

Steal a Chair!

So sb is awesome. Parties and stuff. I love it. But just a whole bunch of fun. And i'm working out a lot and not eating freaking anything, so i'm getting hella skinny and strong. It's amazing how drastic the change is. But that's beside the point. I have a bad thing happen today.

I'm such a fucking coffee n00b. I had to get up early today and was really tired. So I was like yea i'll get some coffee. So i get some vanilla nut, cos it sounds tasty. So i drank a small cup and like 20 mins later i was so jacked up on caffine. I guess i never really had a large amount cos i was tweakin out. I thought i was going to die. I was just twitching and panicking and really i was about to die. I wrote down my thoughts so i could write this blog later and here's what i got after the messy translation.

"coffee n00b
shaky
cant relax
meditation doesnt work
hope they dont think im weird
visable?fuck! an essay?
can't do this now
no more ever
fuck
like church sometimes nevert his
vanilla nut
what do yo uhave in terms of coffee'

jesus i was tweaked



funny story. i walk into the lounge. see 30 people shoved into that tiny room. mike:"JESUS!" "shh! this is bible study" foot out of mouth. leave room.


haha i love my hall. we went swimming in the ocean. it was great

I'm so hungry now but i'm too poor to eat and my meal plan doesnt cover poverty

Fucking men's hall, man. Sick as shit. I love these guys. Fuck, man.


I wonder if i can write a paragraph for the titles of my entries..

Up On The Roof

Dude. So this is awesome. I was sick yesterday and my cold is completely gone today. I'm all moved in too! My bed's really high. Not loft high, but it's about my waist height. And a bit higher. I got all my stuff nicely put and my posters up and stuff. And I FINALLY met my roommate. He was in italy for the summer. It turns out that he's been all over the place because he's in a navy family. So cool. He was born in Kentucky, moved to italy, spoke italian, forgot it, moved to the states again, and singapore, and new dheli and just everywhere. He speaks tagalog, spanish, and english. He went to school in singapore. But yea. He's really chill. Great guy.

My hall's really cool too. We're in the Men's Interest Hall. Basically what that means is we get extra funding from the university to have fun with. For example, tomorrow we get to go rockclimbing and have a burrito bonfire. The next day we have a game of Goaltimate and a bbq. So fucking awesome. And the guys here are really cool. lol. and we have MANtors...

I only have 10 meals a week, which is like 2 meals for each school day, but if all these things keep up, i can eat for free with the mens program.

I'll take pics of my room now so you can see on facebook.

VH1 is the history channel for music

When will I be considered American. I have nothing against being irish or polish. And yea, it's kinda scary to tell people in other countries that you're an american. But when will I say that I'm from American decent? Yea my ancestors were from Ireland and Poland, but my parents and grandparents were from here! I am from American decent now. So are you! I am American first and IrishandPolish second. Fuck you Europe. USA!USA!USA!


Man I miss "the osbournes" that shit was hilarious


(i'm sorry that was a copout ending, but i've been watching vh1's 100 most shocking moments and the commercials are on and i'm hungry and we jsut got to ozzy.)

13 Black

2 mile time trial.

No luck. Luck? No. Dedication, that's it. No dedication.

I was too fast for this shit.

This Man, He Once Was King

How true, how true. That used to be my running song. Now it makes me feel bad.

I ran the Lowell Invite course today. Goddamn i'm slow. I thought i was hot shit cos i thought the course was 3.1 miles long. Apparently, it's 2.8. So my 19:19 (6:54 split) in heavy shoes and no competition still sucks. I looked back at my old time. And that's including how much i sucked senior year xc. 17 something.


Christ. I hate myself for hurting me so much. If only, though, y'know.



Pee. Ess. - I just made the entire Fo-1-Fi aZn communirty grobar gloup really angry at me.

Want A Lollypop?

Today was fun. I took yoongi out to lunch and then came back to Lowell to hang out with anna. We played frisbee for a while, even after your firedrill. And then Walker, Andy, Anna and I went to westlake for jamba. AND THEN we saw ms rotter. It was so great to see her. She looks great and it was so much fun to talk to her. And we even took our reg otterpops, cos we're the rotter pops. but yea. and then we left. hurray.


sldkjglsddjgsdlgj fucking trashcansmellingroom

Stalking, Round 2

So I called my roomie today and I'm a little confused. I got his cousin's number apparently, or iono. I asked for his cell phone number, but it was based in Singapore. I asked if there was any other way to get ahold of him and it turns out that he's in Italy now. He sounds really cool, a real jetsetter (fuck that model show), but I wonder if he knows where we're staying... In the garbage...

At The Bird Bandstand

Shit. So look. My room is on the first floor, by the service road and lot. No view, but apparently it has some other qualities as well. I facebooked the girl who had SantaCruz1415 last year and she had this to say:

santa cruz 1415 showed us a good time...but i hate to tell you that it had a few downfalls, such as: it gets hotter than fuck in that room because the sun shines right into it, so my roommate and i covered our windows in aluminum foil and kept the fans blowing 24-7; also, the trash cans are right outside the window, so that made for ridiculous stench and awful early wake up calls, only suggestion there is to wear earplugs; at the end of the year we got ants, so be ware of those bastards...hmm i can't really think of anything else except that the boys above us were very very loud all the time, but hopefully you wont have that problem. good luck on your first year and i'm sure you'll have a great time!



fuck. i'd feel bad if i moved right away, but i think i might do that anyway... even though up till now, the room and the mate have been completely muddled in coincidences.

Krabby Patty, only at the Krusty Krab

I'm really bad at arguing. And it's not because i'm stupid or lazy. Or maybe that last one. But really. I just dont like to argue. Think about it. Theorhetically, you and your opponent are trying to convince eachother that something is better than the other thing. And that can be possible sometimes. But lets say you have different goals in mind. Then you'll never win, except by compromises, and even that won't work. Know why? Cos you have to buffer yourself against other peoples arguments. What good is trying to convince somebody, if they get to you first? So you're both poised to win, but, unlike baseball games, where somebody eventually slips up after so many innings, you never really have to win or lose an argument. Doesn't matter how good the other guy is, you can just plug your ears and go "LALALALALA". And you don't even have to do that. You can just keep arguing the equivilent of lalala. I just dont have the stomach for it. I can't keep it up. I just get bored, tired, and yea, a little sad.

It surprises me that nobody feels like this, or they at least dont show it. Even in small arguments, like please do this or that, it's hard for me to hold my ground. Lot of people can be much more stubborn than i ever am. I always thought i was just being nice, and wondered why people couldn't be nice back to me. But i guess I just can't handle it. I would never be able to negotiate in the real world, say, as Israel or Hezbolla.

Mother fuckers need to give in. If they're just fighting and going LALALA, nothing will happen. I guess our only hope of peace is weakness on one side...

fuckfuckfuck. if we could just nuke those two countries...


Damn my memory card is corrupted, much like myself.

PANIC!

Got my housing stuff! Yea. So I'm living in Santa Cruz room 1415 with a guy named Mark. Mailing address= PO BOX 11480, UCSB Santa Barbara, CA 93107.


I looked him up on google. His phone number anyway. His phone is listen under Barbara Cabling, so I assume it's his last name. It also gave me his address. A map of his address gives me this. My dad tells me that it's a pretty conservative part of hayward. Sounds like fun.


I can't wait! SLDGJSLDKJGSDLJGLJDG

Unicorn Husbandry

Today was actually not a great day. If it had been, I might have told you about Tony Bennett and how much of an ignorant dick he is. But really, it was that bad of a day.



I actually respect cops a little more now. Very orderly of them. But jesus, what a way to end a night.

Help Me Rhonda

Notes:

+ Today is my last day at work. I can't wait. Oh. But I gotta call Jackson Personnel and tell them that i'm free again... But it's better than this. I'm going to miss neverland like i'll miss lowell. Goodbye, much luck, i would do it all over again, but then regret my decision.

+ Connie's old post about doubledoubles and 3x3's and 4x4's makes me want to take on adam's challenge. 15x15 in half an hour. i could hella do it. i did a 6x6 no sweat. but jesus i'm fat

+ no seriously. fat. i've started running again and thats okay. i feel like a fat slow person... ugh.

+ while running with alex and carlin yesterday, i lost my car key somewhere around lake merced. now i dont have a car key. i have to use the spare and i feel like a dork.

+ i also misplaced my debit card. and it's probably safe cos nobody used it, but all the same i cancelled it and ordered a new one. 10 days without a debit card. crap. oh well.

+ losing my card prevented me from buying this cool looking book called i, lucifer. it's about god giving satan a chance to get back into heaven if lucifer can live a good life. sounds fun

+ whatever. i'm playing starfox by my fat self.

Worship Jams Give's My Lightsaber A Jumpstart

It's in the translation. Stephen Colbert is really the most powerful man in the world.

The muthafuckin Stephen Colbert Bridge.

Fingers Fumble Faintly In The Dark

These past two weeks I have had so much pent up rage and angst and emoness. But really, I just got out of bed and really need to hit the can, so most of it is gone. I'll start with the easy stuff and see if anything comes back.

On my vacationmabob, we were at Grover Hot Springs and I had just gotten the lifeguard angry at me, so i couldn't expect a sucessful rescue if i knocked my head on the bottom of the pool. Some old, fat guy had asked whether or not the hotspring in question was chlorinated, and the lifeguard replied "Yes, but with Bromine." Taking a page out of TK's book, I proceeded to tell the lifeguard (who's biceps were huge, but he had chicken legs), that a pool can not be chlorinated with bromine. The hotspring must be brominated instead. He told me that since they were in the same family of elements, it meant the same thing. Naturally, I thought it was stupid, but stupidly, I told him so. The lifeguard gave me a dirty look and remarked that he had way more training that i did and so his idea was not stupid. A glance at the faces around the pool said otherwise. I had won the battle for now, but that was assuming I didn't start drowning.

My attention drifted to the two little boys who reminded me of myself the last time i came here. They were engaging in a conversation that I could imagine having with a friend of mine, so many years ago.

"I, I've, I've been up a thousand feet!"

"I've been up fiftytwo eighty hundred feet."

"wow"

"See, see, see the top of that mountain there? That's fiftytwo eighty hundred feet!"

"I've been up threethousand feet"

"No way! That's almost to the moon! You can't have gone up that far!"

"Nuh-uh, fiftytwo eighty hundred feet is farther than the moon!"

"No, cos, cos my dad told me and he's a, and he's, and he's a geologist! He studies feet! Like how high we are in the air! He TOLD me!"

"Well, if he's a geolgist.. but i still went up threethousand feet."


I faded away there cos my dad started talking to me. He was a geologist. And I could read the signs. Grover Hot Springs: elevation 2000ft.

SUPAHSTAH!

I wrote most of this at work, so here it is.


I've been feeling like shit lately and it getsreally boring here, so I'm going to write it out a bit and see if any good will come from it. I'm at work right now and people keep coming in, so I'll try not to lose my train of thought between my spurts of writing.

{note: Some dick was waiting outside the shop for like 20 mins with a window wiper and a bucket of water. I asked him if I could help him and he said "nah, it's cool" and slammed the bucket on the ground, splashing water all over me and the windows. I didn't yell or cuss because I was talking with a potential buyer, but goddamn what is up with people?}

I've been very stressed out for the past 2 weeks. Seussical ahs been running for a bit and I'm only kinda proud of it. Nonetheless, I spend an average of 6 hours at fucking company. Seussical and the revue have stolen my summer and returned to me only some enjoyment. Only some because I hate alot of people. Isaac is the biggest fakefag I've ever seen. Touchytouchy guy who thinks he's the shit because he's a gay sophomore at sota who can kinda sing. I'm going to punch his face in. And Adam and Mac. The 8th grades who talk inceasantly and space out continually (respectively). I hate suburb kids. And maybe I'm just paranoid, but i think Annie dislikes me now. but I dont know why. The people who make company worthwhile thought, they are real gems. Brian, shauna, nick, kaitlin, katrina, dominic, max, andy mosttimes and, of course, yoongi. I dont know what I'd do without them.

And then there's work. With all the company i do, there's hardly any time for work at Neverland. I have to get Catherine and Helen to cover my shifts. Theyt're very beautiful people for helping me out, but it's so hard to make it up to them, hourswise. For the next couple days I'm going to have to start working any time I can to pay them back for their time. I already owe them something like 5 hours and I'm going to need about 12 more hours of coverage, what with all this compay and bristleconepines shit. once I find Robert I'm giving him my two weeks notice. It's been a nice run at Neverland. A great first job, but it's time to move on.

I want to start working full time for Jackson Personnel, or to the extent that one can work fulltime for a temp agency. That's another way company has hurt me. I've missed two great jobs that paid great for fun work. once all this silliness is over, I'm going to be rakin' in the dough while still being able to have fun. I'll have time to work, hangout and hopefully run.

I feel so disappointed at how fat and slow I've become. I've been keeping my weight down by cutting out breakfast, but it's not enough. I have no muscle and too much flub. Gotta look good when I go off to college so I can take off my shirt in that beautiful weather.

College. I'm really psyched. I'm really only unsure about Yoongi. Maybe if i were more of a man, I could make a decision about us either way. But weak, indecisive Mike feels like a jerk about this. I almost feel guilty because I'm going to college and that's silly. But still. I'll just have to work something out later...

In the meantime, I have a couple positive things to look forward to. like the fact that my ID is ready. And I have some money again. Not to mention my summer doesnt' end for another two months.

I gotta go find Robert and break the news. I wonder how he'll take it.... Shit this is going to be harder than I thought.




Now that I've closed up shop
I did it. I put in my two weeks notice. If you guys want stuff for cheap, tell me now. I also had a great night. I went...spelunking at lowell. Dude, like srsly.

now i gotta cash some checks, go to wilson's, pick up my id, and go to company.

Fuck You Jordan

Done, man. Cleaned my entire fucking room. If you've ever really seen my room, you know how much of an accomplishment that is. It took me a few days and about 10 hours, but I'm fucking done. My nose is sneezy because of all the dust. Maybe I'll vacuum later (when i say done i mean it looks clean until you look at the doghair and dust on the carpet). Christ. Now if i can leave it like that for two more months...

My cousins will be coming over in a couple days. They'll be staying for a week. These are the ones from Georgia. Aunt Marcy (who is my mom but older), Sissy (who i just noticed looks and acts alot like john candy), KK, and their friends Tia and thisothergirlidontknow. Everybody is at least 35 years old. Guess where they're staying. That's right. My room and the room adjacent. That means that I am displaced for an entire week. I'm not going to like this alot. It also means that I have to hide all my stuff. I'm going to have to get creative here..




No srsly I am freaking out my bird. It doesn't know what I'm saying or is confused as to why I'm saying it. I can't reproduce some of the noises perfectly, but i'm getting there. More later.

Bro Hymn

Are you ever hungry late at night, but realize you can't cook and/or you're too lazy to do anything buy eat out of the box/fridge/microwave? Have you ever looked in your freezer and thought to yourself, "Yea, I can eat 25 potstickers" but then figure out that it includes more than just throwing them on a pan? then you start to wonder if your midnight meal can consist of sourcream and nothing but sourcream.

basically, i'm hoping that my helplessness in the kitchen (minus 10 meals a week for the plan) will help me lose weight in college.


I think I can communicate with my bird. More on this later.

Get No Dizzy Spells

One of my neightbors died. The good one. Vince and Ilse have been our great neighbors since my mom was a little girl. I've know Vince all my life. Then I wake up today and my day goes "Guess who died?" He might not have known how to put it, but that was a bit harsh. But it's okay. They were good friends and my dad was hurt too. Vince Cannizarro was a great guy. He used to play tennis wiht his longtime wife Ilse. I remmember them sunbathing in the afternoon sun in their garage. Every chance they got. That's why they were so tan and why, lately, they'be been so pale.

I'll miss Vince. I didn't cry, but I'll miss him.

I Fed Tippy Crackerjacks...Cos That's What I Was Eating

Do you think anybody would bomb San Francisco? Maybe not the middle eastern terrorists, cos the more strategic places are dc and ny and possibly la. but korea, they could hit us easy, ny and dc would be kinda hard. and the thing is that terrorists dont necessarily aim for the economic or legislative critical points. They want to hit our hearts as well as our society. what would you do if hezbollah or kimjongil blew up the ggb? i would cry a billion tears. no really i would. transamerica? who cares? cablecar bombs? whatever. ggb? *tear*.

but these are all really silly things. we're actually very close to nuclear warfare. that's terrifying. we wont even die quickly. we'll die of sickness and melting and contamination. its sad when animals become extinct, but it's horrifying to know that we're heading in that direction too, but we caused it. some might call it suigenocide. or maybe i should go to bed.


mother fucker. fuck the middle east. fuck america. fuck europeans. fuck russians. fuck koreans and chinese people. fuck african warlords. the world would be better off if the japanese, the indians, and the starving african people ruled the world. but not for long because they'd be the one's in power and then nothing would change.

fuck humans, man.

Sittin On an Egg

Last night was the first night in a long time that i wasn't up until 3 am. Today i have to go downtown and turn in my timeslips for jackson. Anyway, last night was also the first night in a while that i spent some non-sleeping time at home. I dont know, the summer, she seems wasted when i am sitting on ze couch or in my home in general. If im not outside my house then i guess im not having fun. fuck i hate this household, but i like the house. how strange..

did you know that levi is leaving soon? think about it. i have like 2 or 3 weeks left of company. then my parents want to go on a road trip (ugh) for 4 days and im not diggin it at all. and by that time we will only have about 10 days of levi left! its cool for him but its really sad for us.

i guess im jealous of the slimecreeps because i think their joint trip to shanghai is so cool. i want to do one of those. a trip to somewhere with friends.i propose that we go to new york or something. or fucking canada i dont care. i wanna do it before the summer ends. who knows? we could even stay with levi!

fuckfuckfuckihatecompanyitstolemysummer!

Cracked Like A Nut

Is it just me, or did the Chinese government suddenly become the luckiest bunch of bastards in the world? Just over a week ago it was proven that they were harvesting organs from practicing falun gong members. Falun Gong peeps were imprisoned for no reason, and here's the trippy part, they only ask you for your blood type. Then you rot in a cell until a wealthy american needs a heart and then they kill you and take it and give it to the other guy. Horrible, eh?

Well, turns out that just a little less than over a week ago, Israel and Hezbollah started asking like pussybitches and started killing eachother/others/innocentpeople. Man, the chinese really dodged a bullet here. I guess the world just likes Israel better, or what if they caused it? huh!? HUH!!??

I think the only reason it's happening is because the falun gong are being dehumanized in china. they're worse than dogs. i dont know how anybody can do that. it would probably be hard for me to kill a murderer, h less innocent people. i'm not really sure what falun gong is, but its nothing to be subhuman about.

I'm sorry, I have to stop. My bird, Mango just erupted from the VCR.

Moral of the story: For every rich white person committing an evil deed, statistically speaking, there's a Chinese gov't official doing something just as bad.

Surgical, Stunning

See, I've been on a roll. A couple good posts in a roll and tonight i had nothin. So i wrote about books. psh. like anybody reads anymore. but here's a real one.

watching the daily show lately, i've been feeling kind of bad that jon stewart is being so callous to the situation in the middle east. i mean, how can you make jokes about people dying at the same moment that you're trying to be funny? it just felt so wrong.

but then i remembered that jon stewart is doing what he is supposed to do. make jokes about stuff thats happening now. he isn't letting this tragedy get to him. even in these dark times, he's still trying to bring out a joke or two in his own style.

jon stewart just has big balls is all. i guess some people could learn from that. have big balls. and dont let things get you down and keep you from doing the things you love and/or supposed to do.

Street Soldier

So I think the thing is that hollywood only ruins good books. Jurassic park, ummm. i haven't read too many others. but anyway. i want to find alot of movie books and read all of them. soylent green, dune... actually. i just want to read alot of scifi. i love scifi books. i still have the man-kzin wars in my bookcase.

speaking of bookcases. i just cleaned mine out and i am very proud. like. i have books that i actually like/d to read. and their mine. or not. i stole alot of them from friends. if one of you is reading this, no you are not getting it back.but i'm proud of the stuff i read. damn proud.

i gotta get on tropical animal. it looks so sexy.

Damn. I keep forgetting what I want to blog.

I had like, a billion good ideas for tonight's blog, but i forgot them all.

I am looking forward to seeing Henry Cho perform. The asian community in sf seems hyped up about it, but yet again, these are the guys that like dat phan and margaret cho. That's why I hate asian people. They think that they're so cool because they're asian. But they're not. Dragonboat, taking chinese, watching dat phan and margaret cho. Those aren't necessarily cool, they're just sheltering themselves like immigrants. they need to get out of their boxes and do things that americans do. and not just white americans. americans! i know tons of asian people who live in the mission and know nothing about mexican cultures. chinese people hate anything that isn't east asian or white american. goddamn chinks. get fucking lives. DAT PHAN IS NOT FUNNY! MARGARET CHO IS ONLY SLIGHTLY FUNNIER!

Henry Cho, the dignity of your chinky race is at hand. You BETTER be funny.




Trouble in ISRAFGHYIANONANAQ. What if it is WWIII? I hope they blow themselves up before they get the rest of us into it...

Worst Day, Ever Quothe the Comic Book Guy

Man today sucked. My car broke down on the freeway with no shoulders yesterday and it was towed to a garage on Stanyan and Oak. So i had to wake up early, do chores, and then get down there. then we had to wait for the car to be towed to the garage we usually get work done through. they told us that the transmission was kaput even though we just got it replace a year point five ago. it's like, motherfucker, you should have fixed my fucking car. then after it was towed, my mom yelled at teh guy for a while cos he fucked us over. i got done at 4pm and was about to go down to the beach when catherine, my coworker called. she was having an emergency so i basically had to go down to the shop for 4 hours. jackson personnel called me on the way and offered me a job for 5 days that paid 25 bucks an hour, but i couldnt take it seeing as how i had company during that time. fuck company man. that hella would have paid like 1-2000 dollars for 5 days. mother fucker. so i work for 4 hours and im late for the bonfire, so i call yoongi and she's at her house with jeena. and then they do the normal girl thing and fuk around for 2 hours before we can leave then it takes us almost 2 hours to get home and then to the beach. we finally get to the bonfire and find out that the bonfire had been over for an hour already. then i have to get the girls to a 1 california stop and, consequently, had to walk through the park to get home. it took me an hour. now im here and my finger is burned because the wick of my firework sparked and hit me in the finger.


25 bucks per fucking hour. fuck company

fuck today man. fuck today

Hi Morgan

I'm tempted to only address these posts to you because you're the only one who reads this. Even with the high irregularity of my posts, you're still hungry for Mhmm. Oh well. This is a story I wrote during my Ireland trip between sophomore and junior year. It was during the first or second day in Dublin, or on our trip as a whole. I'm not that much of a writer and I certainly wasn't then, but I still hope you like it.

Dublin Taxi - Aug 3

We were already waiting for him when the taxi driver pulled up in front of Kinlay House. He pulled up with half of the car on the sidewalk; the engine was still running. When he stepped out of the cab I could see he was about thirtyfive. His face was slightly red and his hair was gelled slightly back. I stepped toward the trunk to put my suitcase in when he came up to me.

"Wahr ya headed" he asked. He smelled of cigarettes. I mumbled something about the Dublin Docks or Port and when it became apparent to him that I wasn't going to answer his question, he asked my parents. They told the man when we were going to Dublin Port. I was more of less right. I was just too afraid to let my kinsman know I had an accent.

After we put everything in the trunk, we piled in the car. Not surprisingly, it also smelled like cigarettes. I glanced over at what I thought was the driver's seat and raised my eyebrows when Dad popped in. When I looked over to the right, I realized that I made the usual mistake of a foreigner in Ireland. I knew Irish people drove on the wrong...left side of the road, but i guess it takes more than a day to fully kick in.

The cab driver stepped in teh car and put it into drive. We were about a block away from out hostel when he honked his horn at some jaywalker. I wasn't really paying attention, though. For some reason I started staring at his shirt. It was white, with yellow and blue squares. I bet it smelled like cigarettes. Then out of the silence, my dad spoke.

"So how'd you spend your Bank Holiday? We just figured out about it yesterday and were wondering why all the shops were closed." He was stuttering a bit.

"Wa's thaht?" the cabbie asked. I think it was a combination of my fathers inarticulation and the driver's simply not caring that allowed the question to be repeated.

"I said 'How'd you spend your Bank Holiday?'" Dad repeated.

"Drank mostly.. Typical thing to do, eh?" I guess it was.

"Well, which pub did you go to?" Dad asked. "Normally," he added. the cabbie thought about it for a second.

"The Dogs Bollox, or whichever has the loudest singing." It sounded like fun. "No offence, but at least if Americans are there, they got some big balls...I mean guts." He honked at someone on the sidewalk. "Friend o' mine..."

"So who do you usually drive around? Who are your usual sutomers?" Dad was an obvious American. He asked too many questions; ones that he certainly wouldn't ask an American cabbie.

"Oh, you konw. Families like you. Umm... Stags and hens.." He wasn't used to these kinds of questions.

"Oh..yea. And a hen.. would be..?"

"A married lady."

"Of course, of course." After a couple seconds of silence, the cabbie's cell phone rang. It was a blue Samsung. My cousin Joe had one of those fresh off the market from Japan the last time I saw him. Four years later, this cabbie had the same model. He picked up the earpiece from the ashtray and plugged it in the appropriate orafice.

"Oy, yea?"

"Sean, wahr ye goin? You fookin honk me down and zoom by!" The phone was quite loud and I could hear ever crackle quite clearly.

"Stop corsin!" he chuckled, "I've got pahssengers!"

"Speak louder! I cahn't fookin 'ear you."

"I said stop your corsin! I got fookin..I got pahssengers."

"Oy. I'll call ye back later then. Cheers."

"Cheers, mate" He looks sheepishly back at us. "Sorry about thaht"

"No problem," said my dad. My mother looked unamused. We drove in silence for another six or seven minutes before we reached the Port. We got out and boarded the ferry. It was a long way to England.




Meh. My story ended prematurely so i had to remember what happened for the last couple lines. But it's done.

Smokey the Dolphin

I was thinking a really good think in the General MacArthur Tunnel, but now i forgot what my think was. So I got another one. I'm not ashamed to say that I thought of it in church.

I was remembering the guy who said he could see people's auras. The interviewer put a magazine in front of his face and asked 'can you see the aura around my head now that my face is covered?' and the guy said yes. then the interviewer went behind a wall that was just slightly taller than him and told the guy to find where he was based on the aura he gave off. the other guy said that there was a cosmic interruption or something. whatever he was a liar.

I think i see auras. Not in that hollywood sense, but like, hmmm. I remember playing kickball in middleschool and everybody had their own personal color. Max Mah was a deep fire red. Like that tshirt he always war. Alfredo Mendez was orange. Damon Hudson was blue, as was Nick Philliou. It was kinda like that. And it still is. i think that these auras i saw were representative of their personalities.

i can't use this ability too much these days. the gift doesnt come as easy as it once did. but i wondered, what if i could see the auras clearly and they were representative of their souls? it would make things a hell of a lot easier. i could pick my friends a little easier (lord knows i need help with that), but it could make things a hell of a lot harder. I might be responsible for people souls. I might be like joan of arcadia and have to help people achieve salvation. I might have to get people to turn their lives around. That would suck. But then maybe god would talk to me. And not that 'god is in me, and in the wind and in the world' bunch of crap. god actually talked to joan of arcadia. can't he just call me up and tell me he's real? this would be a nice sign. the power to see people's souls and help them change their lives. i wonder if babies would have clean auras or just no aura at all. they're just innocent.

oh the thinks you can think when you have to listen to the pianist at church talk about himself.




fuck this movie was depressing.

Reno 911 Is My Only Friend

So. Wow. First there was orientation. And i met some really cool people. I ihad fun. And i feel better about going to sb. This weekend was company and superman and warped. warped was freakin awesoem. i had so much fun. i got like 15 cds and lots of tshirts. i also got to go to laurens party. and i had so much fun there. and yoongi got to sleep over for 2 nights. that was cool. track banquet wasnt even that bad.

but shit. today was a bad ending to a great weekend.


it sucks enough that people change. but its worse when people change people. it isnt fair. i find i'm hating lots of my friends. it sucks.

SciFi Love

You know. I'm happy. I had a pretty good day. I wish I could have gone to Pink Saturday... for more than 2 reasons. Iono. I wish i could be a bad person sometimes. But i can't. I can only be an asshole. Oh well.


Party was awesome. I'm sorry if any of you guys were bored. I'm not good with parties. But I had fun. Food, games, movies. More food. You guys are all awesome. Crap.


I feel bad for my coworker, Catherine. She ALWAYS covers for me and whenever she needs help i'm always busy. I wish i could make it up to her. I should do something nice. But what? I'm not sure if she's on a diet, but I might make her brownies or something...


I'm going to be doing a project in my backyard and I might need some help.

Ice Cream Spaghetti

Free PC Games

Imbibe

I'm 18. Woohoo. But I'm too lazy to do make a party. Anybody want to get on it? Haha. jk. I'll get something going, hopefully. As for tomorrow. I'm buying 18 lottery tickets. And maybe if I feel like it, I'll buy cigerettes for underage smokers. I wanted to do something awesome, but I can't for now. But shiiiiiit I can't wait till I do.

One thing's for sure. I'm going to fuck up again tomorrow.

I bought my father's day present 10 minutes before midnight. haha.


If you plan to do something similar with my bday:
http://www.bestprices.com/cgi-bin/vlink/0525949399BT?source=GBase



Hehe. I'm sorry I'm plugging so much.But they last year I didn't and lots of people forgot. Last year i got awesome presents from Connie, Morgan, and Johanna. Thx guys. You're 3 of the 3.5 viewers of my blog!

Shake It Up

Man, the last dance was hella bomber that Graduation. Graduation was just a party. This shit was off da hook. Everybody was friends. And the DJs didn't suck. And then we went to tarttotart. And the luckypenny. Then home late. I have a performance tomorrow and i dont even know all my lines.


Birthday is on sunday. Not too shabby. Trying to find a present? Scrapbook will do.

I'm The Narrator

So of course all of you weirdos are all wondering what is going to happen with Yoongi and I when I got to college. Wow, that sounds weird. "When I go to college." Anyway. Please. Would everybody stop being such an inconsiderate dick? Stop asking when we're going to break up or when I'm going to break up with her. Right now, we are going out. We have very strong feelings for eachother and honestly, we don't know what we're going to do. There are many options that we can follow. But I would appreciate you guys not being such dumbasses about it.

I don't know what I'm going to do. All I know is I have 3 months to figure it out. So shut up.

Wow. Amazing. Yogurt Cannon.

Christ. You know, Anne Coulter is just one of those people you want to talk to face to face so that you can tell her she has no soul and wait for her reaction. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't care, but she must know. Anyway. I fucked Anne Coulter in the ass...hard, too!

http://ifuckedanncoulterintheasshard.blogspot.com/

Man. Evil.

El Mamut

What do you do on a day like this? It's times like this I wish I could cry. How long are people around for? You (me) should say that you love somebody before they're gone. I've been planning to avoid this for a long time. "If I can make it to college, then I won't break down and cry when my dog dies." "I hope I go to college before grandma dies, and I certainly don't want her to die at my house." Whatever. People die. What matters is if they know that you love them before they do. Then your time with them is not wasted. I wonder what people think when they die. It can't be "I hope all these people know I love them." It would have to be more along the lines of "Goodbye..." This is too depressing to carry on. Chili Peppers aren't helping. Shit.



Hang Up.

Meat In A Box

Dude. This shit was awesome.


-- Ray Nelson's --

Eight O'Clock in the Morning
At the end of the show the hypnotist told his subjects, "Awake."

Something unusual happened.

One of the subjects awoke all the way. This had never happened before. His name was George Nada and he blinked out at the sea of faces in the theatre, at first unaware of anything out of the ordinary. Then he noticed, spotted here and there in the crowd, the non-human faces, the faces of the Fascinators. They had been there all along, of course, but only George was really awake, so only George recognized them for what they were. He understood everything in a flash, including the fact that if he were to give any outward sign, the Fascinators would instantly command him to return to his former state, and he would obey.

He left the theatre, pushing out into the neon night, carefully avoiding any indication that he saw the green, reptilian flesh or the multiple yellow eyes of the rulers of the earth. One of them asked him, "Got a light buddy?" George gave him a light, then moved on.

At intervals along the street George saw the posters hanging with photographs of the Fascinators' multiple eyes and various commands printed under them, such as, "Work eight hours, play eight hours, sleept eight hours," and "Marry and Reproduce." A TV set in the window of a store caught George's eye, but he looked away in the nick of time. When he didn't look at the Fascinator in the screen, he could resist the command, "Stay tuned to this station."



George lived alone in a little sleeping room, and as soon as he got home, the first thing he did was to disconnect the TV set. In other rooms he could hear the TV sets of his neighbors, though. Most of the time the voices were human, but now and then he heard the arrogant, strangely bird-like croaks of the aliens. "Obey the government," said one croak. "We are the government, " said another. "We are your friends, you'd do anything for a friend, wouldn't you?"

"Obey!"

"Work!"

Suddenly the phone rang.

George picked it up. It was one of the Fascinators.

"Hello," it squawked. "This is your control, Chief of Police Robinson. You are an old man, George Nada. Tomorrow morning at eight o'clock, your heart will stop. Please repeat."

"I am an old man," said George. "Tomorrow morning at eight o'clock, my heart will stop."

The control hung up

"No, it wont," whispered George. He wondered why they wanted him dead. Did they suspect that he was awake? Probably. Someone might have spotted him, noticed that he didn't respond the way the others did. If George were alive at one minute after eight tomorrow morning, then they would be sure.

"No use waiting here for the end," he thought.

He went out again. The posters, the TV, the occasional commands from passing aliens did not seem to have absolute power over him, though he still felt strongly tempted to obey, to see things the way his master wanted him to see them. He passed an alley and stopped. One of the aliens was alone there, leaning against the wall. George walked up to him.

"Move on," grunted the thing, focusing his deadly eyes on George.

George felt his grasp on awareness waver. For a moment the reptilian head dissolved into the face of a lovable old drunk. Of course the drunk would be lovable. George picked up a brick and smashed it down on the old drunk's head with all his strength. For a moment the image blurred, then the blue-green blood oozed out of the face and the lizrd fell, twitching and writhing. After a moment it was dead.

George dragged the body into the shadows and searched it. There was a tiny radio in its pocket and a curiously shaped knife and fork in another. The tiny radio said something in an incomprehensible language. George put it down beside the body, but kept the eating utensils.

"I can't possibly escape," thought George. "Why fight them?"

But maybe he could.

What if he could awaken others? That might be worth a try.

He walked twelve blocks to the apartment of his girl friend, Lil, and knocked on her door. She came to the door in her bathrobe.

"I want you to wake up," he said

"I'm awake," she said. "Come on in."

He went in. The TV was playing. He turned it off.

"No," he said. "I mean really wake up." She looked at him without comprehension, so he snapped his fingers and shouted, "Wake up! The masters command that you wake up!"



"Are you off your rocker, George?" she asked suspiciously. "You sure are acting funny." He slapped her face. "Cut that out!" she cried, "What the hell are you up to anyway?"

"Nothing," said George, defeated. "I was just kidding around."

"Slapping my face wasn't just kidding around!" she cried.

There was a knock at the door.

George opened it.

It was one of the aliens.

"Can't you keep the noise down to a dull roar?" it said.

The eyes and reptilian flesh faded a little and George saw the flickering image of a fat middle-aged man in shirtsleeves. It was still a man when George slashed its throat with the eating knife, but it was an alien before it hit the floor. He dragged it into the apartment and kicked the door shut. "What do you see there?" he asked Lil, pointing to the many-eyed snake thing on the floor.

"Mister...Mister Coney," she whispered, her eyes wide with horror. "You...just killed him, like it was nothing at all."

"Don't scream," warned George, advancing on her.

"I won't George. I swear I won't, only please, for the love of God, put down that knife." She backed away until she had her shoulder blades pressed to the wall.

George saw that it was no use.

"I'm going to tie you up," said George. "First tell me which room Mister Coney lived in."

"The first door on your left as you go toward teh stairs," she said. "Georgie...Georgie. Don't torture me. If you're going to kill me, do it clean. Please, Georgie, please."

He tied her up with bedsheets and gagged her, then searched the body of the Fascinator. There was another one of the little radios that talked a foreign language, another set of eating utensils, and nothing else.

George went next door.

When he knocked, one of the snake-things answered, "Who is it?"

"Friend of Mister Coney. I wanna see him," said George.

"He went out for a second, but he'll be right back." The door opened a crack, and four yellow eyes peeped out. "You wanna come in and wait?"

"Okay," said George, not looking at the eyes.

"You alone here?" he asked as it closed the door, its back to George.

"Yeah, why?"

He slit its throat from behind, then searched the apartment.

He found human bones and skulls, a half-eaten hand.

He found tanks with huge fat slugs floating in them.

"The children," he thought, and killed them all.

There were guns too, of a sort he had never seen before. He discharged one by accident, but fortunately it was noiseless. It seemed to fire little poisoned darts.

He pocketed the gun and as many boxes of darts he could and went back to Lil's place. When she saw him she writhed in helpless terror.

"Relax, honey" he said, opening her purse, "I just want to borrow your car keys."

He took the keys and went downstairs to the street.

Her care was still parked in the same general area in which she always parked it. He recognized it by the dent in the right fender. He got in, started it, and began driving aimlessly. He drove for hours, thinking--desperately searching for some way out. He turned on the car radio to see if he could get some music, but there was ntohing but news and it was all about him, George Nada, the homicidal maniac. The announcer was one of the masters, but he sounded a little scared. Why should he be? What could one man do?

George wasn't surprised when he saw the road block, and he turned off on a side street before he reached it. No little trip to the country for you, Georgie boy, he thought to himself.

They had just discvered what he had done back at Lil's place, so they would probably be looking for Lil's car. He parked it in an alley and took the subway. There were no aliens on the subway, for some reason. Maybe they were too good for such things, or maybe it was just because it was so late at night.

When one finally did get on, George got off.

He went up to the street and went into a bar. One of the Fascinators was on the TV, saying over and over again, "We are your friends. We are your friends. We are your friends." The stupid lizard sounded scared. Why? What could one man do against all of them?

George ordered a beer, the it suddenly struck him that the Fascinator on the TV no longer seemed to have any power over him. He looked at it again and thought, "It has to believe it can master me to do it. The slightest hint of fear on its part and the power to hypnotize is lost." They flashed George's picture on the TV screen and George retreated to the phone booth. He called his control, the Chief of Police.

"Hello, Robinson?" he asked.

"Speaking."

"This is George Nada. I've figured out how to wake people up."

"What? George, hang on. Where are you?" Robinson sounded almost hysterical.

He hung up and paid and left the bar. They would probably trace his call.

He caught another subway and went downtown.

It was dawn when he entered the building housing the biggest of the city's TV studios. He consulted the building director and then went up in the elevator. The cop in front of the studio recognized him. "Why, you're Nada!" he gasped.

George didn't like to shoot him with the poison dart gun, but he had to.

He had to kill several more before he got into the studio itself, including all the engineers on duty. There were a lot of police sirens outside, excited shouts, and running footsteps on the stairs. The alien was sitting before the the TV camera saying, "We are your friends. We are your friends," and didn't see George come in. When George shot him with the needle gun he simply stopped in mid-sentence and sat there, dead. George stoond near him and said, imitating the alien croak, "Wake up. Wake up. See us as we are and kill us!"

It was George's voice the city heard that morning, but it was the Fascinator's image, and the city did awake for the very first time and the war began.

George did not live to see the victory that finally came. He died of a heart attack at exactly eight o'clock.





Doesn't it remind you of Duke Nukem?

Let's All Talk To Zoidberg

So uh. I fucking hate managers. I swear to god. I run, I sweat, I hurt, I BLEED (blisters!) and all I EVER get from Andy is a "goodjob" once in a while. ONCE in a WHILE! I know the love is there. He knows what I do. He knows I try my best everytime I run because he can see it. He can see how much I work by how exhausted I am. When I'm tired from my workout or my race, I can't breathe, I can't walk, I can't think. So when I talk to a manager in such a state, why can't a get a fucking answer embedded with a trace of respect? It's always some mumbled sentence like they couldn't care. It's always with that fucking look they always have. I FUCKING HATE IT! And they they get all upset because "they work hard and they can't be putting up with all of us." You know what? FUCK YOU! DEAL with it! THERE ARE FUCKING 10 OF YOU! ONE OF YOU CAN DEAL WITH US YOU MOTHER FUCKING PIECES OF SHIT!

AND YOU KNOW WHY THEY FUCKING ACT LIKE THAT!? IT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE SO GODDAMN SPOILED! Okay, fine. They get to stand around during practices. They're not supposed to be running. Okay, fine. They get to stand around during Bay to Breakers. I get to do all the fun stuff anyway. Okay, fine. I realized that they stick around alot and do secretarial work. It's how you manage. Okay, fine. Andy gives them treats including, but not limited to: food, rides, spiffy jackets, and free lettermans. Andy gets to have a favorite (or 10) . You're supposed to be rewarded for doing things, but when you're spoiled, you think that you just deserve these things. And when you think that you deserve them, you flaunt them in other people's faces to show them what a good job you did. BUT THEY DIDNT! THEY DIDNT! THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW OUR SPORT! So really they're just bugging the fuck out of you.

I CANT FUCKING HANDLE THIS. RAGE IS COURSING THROUGH MY VEINS. I CAN'T EVEN TYPE STRAIGHT! I'M JUST SO FUCKING ANGRY. I HATE ALL THESE GODDAMN MANAGERS! EVERY FUCKING SINGLE ONE! I HATE THEM! SDLGKJSDGLKJ.

edit: Except Yulong and Ruth. Yulong actually ran and knows what's what. And he doesn't act like a snotty shit. Ruth is on two sports. She knows how it feels.

edit deux: I FUCKING HATE MANAGERS!

Suck It

2 quotes from today. Bad and Good.


Fiona: I couldn't understand you during the second half.
Mike: Well, it was in spanish.
Fiona: Well, I think you sucked anyway. And you know you can trust my opinion because we're best friends, right?



Yoongi: Remember "Duck, Duck, Boo"?
Chelsea: "Duck, Duck, Boo"? That's like my life!
Mike: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *falls to ground laughing. can't breathe*
Random Drunk Russian Guy: Here, Komrade *picks Mike off ground, walks away*
Mike: AAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHA *can't breathe*



Maybe I've seen enough of this crap. I don't like when people say things they don't really mean, and I don't like when people say things for me that I don't really mean. Whatever, go with the flow.

Me gusta me reggae, me gusta punk rock, pero la cosa que me gusta mas es panochita

Bathwater Productions

Anne Marie asked if I wanted to do another performance. In June. For her and her brother's Bathwater Productions. Sounds like fun. But that means i have to do more work for a while. This might suck alot. Once I get past track. And maybe I should just quit Neverland now... It's hard to schedule now.


Rose Rose Rose Rose
Will I ever see thee wed?
I will marry at thy will, Sire
At thy will

Thou poor bird
Art thou now
Flying in the shadows
Of this late hour

Dead

Just in case the worst should happen, here is my senior will.

Jewboy Levi - My unicycle, my room, my height, and the contents of my wallet.
Connie Chung - My ability to watch ARRR rated movies.
Chelsea - My nerves of steel.
Alex B. - Take my car. Please. You need to learn how to drive stick... and faster.
Anna FH - All my music.
Phil Yee - Burned copies of all my music. Plus Jin's magic flats.
Y. Tom - My <3... and my cable TV.
Cynthia - My ability to say no. And my liking for Wonderful Foods.
Tommy York - My ability to talk without looking self-important. And my stereo. And my Irish, rugby jersey.
Morgan - My slightly more religiousness and my Buddy Christ, Jesus Action Figure, and Dashboard Jesus.
Johanna - One cool item from my room.

To everybody - The entirety of my knowledge of cartoon (namely South Park) trivia. And a forever extended invitation to wherever i may be living.

PS. None of you get my awesome Irish hat.


<3

Well uh..

Now that I have finally chosen a college, I feel much better. It's great when people congratulate me, even though it's more of a 'hey! you actually got into a good uc' kind of good job. But that's not the point.

Before I got into ucsb, it was just sdsu, but it felt like i still had the choice between both while my appeal went through. I was torn up over the decision between the two, as you can probably tell from two or three posts ago. the two colleges were complete opposite paths to the same place. Both were great. But when i finally decided that I would go to ucsb and not feel bad about missing out on sdsu, i was no longer sure if i was going to get into ucsb. but hours and hours of waiting (i came to this decision, what, a day before i got in?) finally got to me. now i'm in. and i'm finally happy.

PS. The only people i know who are going to UCSB are all pretty girls in my reg (Lauren, Caitlin, and Lisa)

i can't wait for college... i just can't fucking wait.

UCSB!

GAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHO GAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHO GAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHO GAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHO GAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHOGAUCHO

Pride

Woosh

So I'm done with math forever. Those five classes I'm taking now? They just became four. Man fuck math. I'm never ever going to use calculus ever. EVER! Nono, Pinocci. I will not become a civil engineer. I will be something that has more practical application in real life. Like studying the cause and effect of the deaths of supervillians. Or something. Iono.



Today, some old lady came into the shop to sit down and talk. and you could tell she was quasi homeless because only homeless people talk to anybody and everybody who will listen (not to mention she told me she was). She talked to me for about half an hour about her situation. She had an abusive landlord and was afraid to go back to her home, so she decided to take to the sf streets. She stayed with a friend or two, but tonight she might be out on the street or hopefully in a shelter. She talked of her friend on the force and in the clegy down the block. When she left she was crying, half about her story, half because apparently, she finally found somebody to listen to her.

I'd be the worst hobo ever. I'd be too shy to talk to anybody. Too embarrassed that something like that had happened to me. But I'm too much of a social creature to live like that. I wonder how i would handle it. I could continue lurking in the corners, talking only to my hobo brethren, and only the cool ones. Or I could grow some hoballs and not care. After all, life has it's ups and downs - who says i'm out yet? Or i could pretend like i'm crazy and have a bit of fun. Or i could become a statistic...

But you know what? No matter what hobopath i choose to take, I swear to god i will spend as much time as possible on my personal hygene. I'll spend forever under a public restroom sink awkwardly washing, shampooing, and shaving my body. Nobody would be able to tell i was a hobo! Except for my clothes...

What happens to your stuff when you become a hobo? Where does my tshirt collection go? Where does my wardrobe go? Where does my bed go? Where do my pens and cups and hangars and chairs and bedspreads and jugglingballs and bicycles and posters go? Do i pawn them? Do i throw them out? Does somebody take them?


Aww, I quit. This post is too depressing..

Now I Just Feel Silly

I feel silly. I just want to go out and play all day. Please. No more school. No more math. No more spanish. No more getting up early. No more essays. No more disney channel. No more competitive running. And no more friggin lj. All I'll have is my car and my girl and my friends. A concert or two and then:




That's right. Once a week. I can't wait.


Fucking hate lj. I want a fucking facebook.

The Wedding Singer vs. Pocahontas

I have two posts that i want to write. One about college. One about other stuff. But now i dont want to write either because when i'm not around friends i kinda get depressed. Bleh.


So I might have to decide between SDSU and UCSB. Let't think about this.

SDSU:

- San Diego
- Close to family
- Small campus
- Small classes
- Sunny
- Beach like 15 mins away (by car)
- Mexico
- Possible car privileges
- Journalism
- Nice campus
- Nice dorms
- No wheels campus (bikes, boards...)
- Nobody I know is going
- Hot girls
- I'm afraid that the people will be fake or even just too Socal
- Sunburns
- No (mens) track team

UCSB:

- Santa Barbara
- Closer to home
- Big campus
- Big classes
- Communications (but not Journalism)
- Beach like 2 mins away (by foot)
- Variations in weather
- Nice campus
- NIce dorms
- Bike paths (Big bike school)
- Lauren and Cailin are going at least (other people too, i guess)
- The people will definately be cool
- Hot girls
- Track team
- What if i change my mind about my major?




Oh well. If UCSB doesn't accept my appeal. My decision is made. But if not. Well... Eh... I hate this.

Wasted Every Day

It's like my insides were sucked out and my body is collapsing on itself.

I Missed You

We watched a movie in Newhouse today about venomous animals. They were trying to 'milk' this deadly spider of its venom, but there was a problem. Question: How do you catch a deadly spider? Answer: Pay an Austrailian. Question: How the fuck do you milk a deadly spider? Answer: Piss it off. Question: How? Answer: Blow on it. Question: Why does every animal on God's green earth hate when humans blow in their face? Answer But Kind Of A Question: Do you like dog/cat/deadly spider breath?

I guess nothing likes human breath. When I blow in Riley's face he scrunches his eyes up. The cat, LuLu, does that, too. Then she hisses and runs away. And the deadly spider? He rears up and bares his fangs, extremely irritated and so ready to strike that his fangs are dripping with lethal venom. I didn't think my breath was that bad, I mean, I brush twice a day.

But then again, we think animals have bad breath. Ever hear of "dog breath"? That's a pretty bad rap. Ever smell a cat's breath? They eat fish and nasty cat food. And I don't think I ever want to get close enough to a deadly spider that I could smell it's breath. But I guess it's a fair trade off.

It brings up a couple questions though. Do animals like each other's breath? What about animals that don't breathe, like fish? Do they get annoyed when other fish blow bubbles in their face? Do hummingbirds have bad breath? All they eat is nectar, and that's delicious. It's really too bad that I'm not going to think about these. It's not really too bad that i won't, it's actually too bad that i'm to lazy to care.

MORAL: Don't get close enough to smell a deadly spider's breath and don't blow in it's face if you don't want to die horribly.

PS: I'm happy to report that my man shield is holding at a hearty 80%. Even today's episode of Scrubs couldn't touch me, in both senses of the word.

PS PLUS!: The couples in the new safter VW Jetta commercials. The driver and his date were black (but in the we're black, but in the whitest way possible), but the white guy in back had an asian gf (and not the i'm asian in the whitest way possible). The trend has been growing faster and faster. Now we just need more of Sati's parents types on TV.


I posted. Happy, Connie?

WONDERSHOWZEN!

5 JOKES IN 5 SECONDS!!!

1!!
Q: What do you call a leopard named billy who just fell down a 600 foot ravine into a squirming pit of dead ducks covered in leprosy once owned by a Pizzeria?
A: In this case-- you would refer to the unfortunate soul as "Bad Luck Billy"!!!

2!!
Q: What would someone like you end up with if, say, for the sake of argument (or more accurately-- for the sake of this particular joke), that you were a scientist working in the field of experimental bio-engineering, and you made an erstwhile effort to genetically cross JFK with KFC?
A: All of our best data indicates unequivocally that you would get John Fitzgerald Chicken.

3!!
A Mountaineer who just returned from scaling Mount Kilamanjaro walks into a bar and asks for a free drink. The bartender, sensing an ominous chill in the air says, "well sir, I can't give you a free drink, but i can give you five jokes in five seconds." "Shoot" replied the crest fallen mountain man. It was at this time in the joke that the admittedly jumpy barkeep pulled out his pistol and beat the mountaineer to death in five easy blows.

4!!!
It seems there was this elephant who decided to get a part-time job at a bakery* to save up to buy a toilet. When he showed up to the interview the manager asked the elephant what qualifications he had to work a part time job. As the elephant passionately laid out his extensive retail and patisserie experience, the mangaer interrupted him curtly exlaiming, "Wait-- if you buy a toilet, and flush your business--- what will the poor dung beetles eat?" Just then the elephant straightened his tie and tossed this beauty of a zinger orally into the ether: "They shall eat your finest croissants," the elephant intoned, "And doubtless that they shan't taste the diff."

*you should know that htis particular bakery is known for the unusual poor quality of its croissants

5!!
The Pope, a bear, a rabbi, a pirate, a diplomat, a midget, a woman in a coma, a pelican, and your mom were all relaxing on an Eames chair after a furious fortnight of group hate sex when there was a sound at the door. "Knock-knock" went the sound emanating from the door.
Simultaneously, and without missing a beat, an answer broke like a desperate yowl from the throats of the orgiers: "Who's there?"
Like a shot from the butt gun of a pre-radicalized 1920's anarchist came a response from beyond the door. "Bananana."
Faster than a duck could rape a lizard in the mouth, our motley crew of freakazoids, safely ensconced in the luzury of their designer seatlery, shook their heads and bleated as a unit, "Orange you glad we've already heard this joke and so shan't be participating (unless of course you are offering substantial financial remuneration.)" There was no reply from the other side of the door, save this: One absolute rascal of a fart.






Awesome. Thanks Gus.