Cigarettes, Suffragettes, and More

Okay. So this is kind of a phil yee post. ye be warned.

I used to have very regular bowel movements. Every day before and after practice I would take a short and then long shit. On weekends, I'd wake up, shit, shower, and shave. Every day I would be one with my bowel.

Then summer came and I ruined my routine! It would become whenever I could shit, which was rarely. I found myself pooping closer to once every 2 days. Worse, it was always at different times of the day, usually at inopportune times.

Now that college is here, I have an unlimited supply of food during lunch and dinner. I have fake chinese food, fake mexican food, and whatever else they have. That's just fine and dandy, it's just that I have to shit all of the time! I find myself longing for a bathroom every hour or so. sometimes i ignore it and it goes away. Other times, I make it to the bathroom, just barely, to find out that i really dont need to shit (and i'm like WTF i just peed sitting down for no reason). Still other times I have to shit and it's not a nice one. No more can i count on the regular fiberous solid shit. It's that dirty, bumpy, whisp of a shit. The one you take a long time making sure you got everything out, then spend forever wiping.

Between all these activities, I've realized that i've spent too much time thinking about shitting. I shouldn't have to deal with this, but alas, i eat way too much!


I need to get bronze.