Heres my story. Pat II is our crackerjack prize. Bonnie is Brazilian Connie. And Carter is Connies brother. Fernando is code name for a special boy in China.
Pat II
Once upon a time there was a young adult named Pat II. Pat II was a handsome, well-adjusted young man. But one day his girlfriend Bonnie left for Brazil. Pat II was really sad; in fact the only thing that him cheered up was the fact that she said that she’d always be true to him and that when she came back two years from now, they’d pick up where they left off and be lovers forever. But then, about a month after Bonnie’s departure, Pat II’s father and mother ran off to Tibet and left poor Pat II all by himself. Now Pat II could not afford to live in the house that his family used to live in, was evicted, and moved into a trailer near school. “When will I come out of this nosedive?” Pat II thought.
This whole situation made Pat II very sad. So sad that Pat II fed himself to feel better. He didn’t feel better, but Pat II thought he WOULD if he ate more. Every morning Pat II would eat 20 doughnuts and every night Pat II would take 3rds and 4ths or sometimes even 5ths and 6ths, and in between Pat II would always be munching on something. Naturally, in a very short time Pat II got extremely obese and the more that Pat II thought about being obese, the more he ate to help ease the pain. Clearly, it was a vicious cycle.
Weighing in at more than 500 pounds, Pat II could not fit through his trailer door anymore. Indeed, he was stuck on his bed, every hour of every day. His friend, Carter had to deliver his food and school stuff. Carter, because he was such a good friend, also had other jobs like helping Pat II change his nasty, stinky, and grease-ridden clothes, and changing Pat II’s bedpan (Pat II could not use the bathroom like a normal person anymore). Now, Carter was a good friend, but there was only so much he could do for so long. Carter had track practice and honors classes to attend to. So one day, Carter went over to Pat II’s house with a set of tapes. “Now whatever could those tapes in your hands be?” asked Pat II. Carter simply replied, “We’re getting you’re lard butt into shape.”
Everyday, after doing his duties as a friend, Carter would pop in one of the Tae Bo tapes that he had bought for Pat II. It started out as a lift of the leg or arm every once in a while, but gradually and over time, Pat started lifting his limbs faster and longer, until he could stand up again. He still had to use his bedpan and stay inside his trailer, but at least he could stand up. He continued to use the tapes more and more until he could fit through the door to his bathroom and sometimes out of his trailer. But Pat II didn’t stop there, he continued to use his Tae Bo tapes until he could fit into his old jeans and jump up and down and not break a sweat. It seemed that Pat II was at the top of his game again.
At this point, it had been two years since Bonnie had left for Brazil. Remembering this, Pat II took a break from his Tae Bo tapes, took a shower, gelled his hair, put some cologne on, and was on his way to pick up flowers along the way to the airport. When Bonnie’s plane landed, Pat II hid behind a large potted plant and intended to surprise her, but she didn’t get off the plane. Just when everybody had gotten off the plane, and Pat II heard a girl giggling. Hidden behind his large potted plant, he watched and saw Bonnie holding hands with a dashing young Brazilian man. Scared senseless, Pat II ran away as fast as he could, dropping the flowers he bought for his young lass in his haste. Pat II ran and ran and ran. He ran until he reached the parking lot at which point he suffered a massive heart attack from the cholesterol that he built up from his fat escapade.
Pat II’s funeral was a week later. Bonnie was there, in the front row, crying her eyes out as her guide consoled her. You see, while Bonnie was in Brazil, there had not been ample light in the room she was living in. So after two years of reading science fiction novels in the semi-dark, Bonnie had lost her vision. Fernando had been a colleague of hers and offered his help to her and her horrible condition. She had been looking forward to introducing Fernando to her boyfriend Pat II, but after Fernando spotted the crowd in the parking lot and told her what had happened, she just couldn’t help but feel like dying. So she did.
THE END
No comments:
Post a Comment