What's This?

Pat stared at the trail of yarn he was following. It disappeared for long distances in many places, but it had always managed to pop up next to him. He thought about how when he first saw it, he picked up the litter and threw it away. Upon finding more yarn, he did likewise. But after so much yarn it got ridiculous. So he just walked away. It didnt matter though, it was always there. The whole park was lined with yarn. As he was deciding on whether or not to find the source, he suddenly felt like he was being watched. It was a faint feeling, but it was there. Whatever it was, it was very crafty to elude Pat for so long with such sparce hiding places. Yet again he was busy daydreaming, so it wouldnt be too hard to get so close. Pat played it cool, he felt it was the best thing to do. So he just walked casually on the sidewalk, whistling as he went. It was going his direction anyway.

Windy Out

As Pat sat on the ledge he began to ponder. What did it all mean? The fruit loops, the hat, the bracelet, the package...what did they all signify? How did they all come together? He just didnt know.

He followed the trail of the rat down the wall. It was really agile. I mean, it was a straight up wall. Some sort of spiderrat. He heard of them growing human ears on rats that could be used later for earless people (?), but spider feet? Maybe.

As Pat sneezed, he tottered on the ledge of the 20th story of the Sears Tower.

Errbody

So Pat was out and about one day. Just doing the normal stuff. Rambling, talking, avoiding crappy cars, when all of a sudden it hit him. The Red Sox won the world series. Bush won the election. And he was getting his pansy ass kicked in his sport of choice. The world was coming to an end. He looked up into the sky and he saw it. Giant crows falling from the sky. Destroying everything in their path.

Pat ran to the supermarket. He looted all the canned goods and water and picked up a mad magazine to pass the time over his lifespan. He ran to the fallout shelter, conveniently located 45 stories below the earth's crust. He didnt bring anybody along because he figured that he'd get annoyed with them and probably eat them. So he sat and waited.

It had been almost 10 hours when Pat ran out of canned soup. He didnt like stealing so he only got 2 cans. He didnt know how long apocalypses usually lasted but he was sure it was over by now. He lifted the lid on his shelter and saw the destruction. There were survivors, but they were generally twitching and yelling on the ground, trapped under large pieces of concrete. He ignored their pathetic cries and turned to more pressing matters. Where were all the Froot Loops?

In his haste he forgot to secure the Froot Loops and had no clue where they were. He searched round and round until he found some in the ruins of the old mortuary. How appropriate. Cos Pat choked on a Froot Loop and all the dying people laughed when his lifeless body hit the floor.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

After a nite of egging, tping, and blowing stuff up, Pat thought he'd sit down on the sidewalk. the friction from his encounter with the ground lit a match which fell on his m1000. the pat blew up.

happy halloween

Pat

Pat couldnt describe it. He was perfectly happy. Good grade, lotsa kinda friends, even a handful of love interests. But he wasnt content. Something wasnt right. Pat wasnt sure if it was an empty or excess feeling but he didnt care. He wanted it gone. He tried everything. Banana bread. JSA Fall State. Precalc/Psych. Running. Old music. New music. Movies. Nothing worked.

He was so desperate that he even said "Desperate times call for desperate measures", and you know a movie has gotten really bad when somebody says that. He decided he would pick one bird and focus on it. Maybe he could block the other feeling away with a liking feeling which would serve as a firewall to the crappy feeling. He still wasnt sure which bird was prettiest or even which had the nicest song. Then he gave up and strangled all the birds except for that last one, which somehow got lodged in his throat. Then pat died.

Pat Spots Other Birds

All of a sudden. A robin and three other birds came. The robin had a superb color and Pat couldnt tell the color of the other three. Somewhat beige. Then pat fell asleep.

Is Pat Content?

Pat had almost finished his essay on "The Iliad" and he felt like taking a stroll to his favorite park. After all, he had almost fininished and it was, on the whole, very worthy of an A+. He was still sweaterless but he had a long sleeve on and was somewhat warm. He walked all the way to Stow Lake and sat atop of Strawberry Hill, which is situated right in the middle of the lake. Pat sat down on a smooth-topped tree stump with many engravings on it.

Jack <3 Jill. Hmm... It was a hill, and there was a resevior on top that fed the waterfall, and there were many places to tumble down he thought. He smiled. A small gang of sparrows had gathered around his stump, chattering amongst themselves. How lovely.

As Pat was listening to the sparrows' conversation a big, black crow came down upon them squaking noisily, flapping his wings and alltogether scaring the sparrows away. Pat felt intruded upon.

"Go away!" Pat yelled. The crow could not understand him, of course so Pat flapped his arms about, scaring some more sparrows away, but having little affect on the loud, ugly crow. So Pat stood up tall on the stump, jumped off, and squashed the crow flat.

"Serves you right, you little bitch!" and with that Pat tossed the crow down the waterfall. The sparrows started to gather around his stump again so he sat down and looked over the city through the trees.

While he was daydreaming, Pat spotted a dove on a ledge near the waterfall. It was nervously hopping around on the ledge, for it had put its nest there and the spring waters threatened to swallow her eggs. The dove looked at Pat, unafraid but unwilling to allow Pat to help it.

Pat wanted to help it, but the only way across was dangerous...well not too dangerous but who wants to climb across a 100 foot high waterfall? Pat decided to give it 30 minutes to see if its mate came back to help. If it didn't Pat would have to cross the dangerous waterfall and rescue the dove and her eggs.



I love Pat stories. EVERYTHING HAS A MEANING! yes. even the essay. i love Pat. maybe we'll see what pat does next time.

Thats Pat For You

Actually. Pat is the guy i made up in Health Ed. It's what we named the flippable kitty that was the crackerjacks prize, who i later used for Health Ed tests. Pat has been to tibet, and has evil friends named Cat and...somethingelse. Pat has committed suicide and exploded and been burned to death. Pat is my alterego and theres nothing i can do about it.


Pat the Bat just sounded good. Nobody would like Matt the Batt.

Patrick III

I'll make this quick...

Patrick was sitting on a bench, desperately cold, thinking about his situation and weighing his options. Damn, he thought. Not one person. He soon drifted away from whatever he was thinking and remembered his coach's and teammates words of wisdom. Things like, RUN FASTER! or MOVE YOUR LEGS, WORM! but what stuck in his head was what his friend said to him on hill runs, mind over matter.

Mind over matter, Patrick thought. Hmmmm.... Maybe he wasn't really cold anyway. What was cold other than a icky feeling that served him no use. He was so enlightened that he stood up, and started to walk briskly. Just keep moving... Work up a sweat... Mind over matter... He passed many people; he just smiled and waved.

He neared the end of the park, and it being dusk, Patrick power-walked into the setting sun. After which he was extremely burned. Not suprisingly, Patrick died. I mean, the sun IS really hot. The funeral was very lovely. It was warm, so nobody needed a sweater.



I really had to get off so all literary skill faded and all hell broke loose. Be sure to look for more adventures from our little friend. Tata!

Patrick Part 2

Ok. So, the last time we saw Patrick, he had inadvertently destroyed his sweater at the park and was looking for somebody to lend him theres. Patrick was about to ask this one girl across the road. She had dark features and short purple hair. The sweater she had on was black laced with purple color and had a ghost on the front. Patrick thought it looked cool and was already thinking about sporting it. He jogged up to her.

"Hey. Thats a nice sweater". He waited for her reply. None came. She just stopped. And stared. Her eyes were like daggers. "As you can see, i do not have a sweater and i am very cold. I noticed that you are wearing a heavy, longsleeve shirt and was wondering if i could perchance borrow your sweater?" Still nothing. Her eyes just stabbed at him. He tried to stare back, but he soon gave up. Nothing seemed to penetrate her gaze, so he left her. She resumed walking.

Wow. That was weird, Patrick thought. No worries though. He shook it off. There was still another person on the road. She looked older than Patrick. With orange hair, and a long blue skirt...made of felt? He didnt know, but he was cold and he noticed her warm sweater. She was holding it. She didnt really need it apparently. He went over.

"Excuse me miss. I notice you are holding a sweater. You might not think its cold, but i sure do and i would really appreciate it if you would be so kind as to lend me your sweater." He tried to be extra polite. She looked willing enough.

"Im sorry, but this sweater is currently reserved. My friend might meet me here if he feels like it and i really dont want him to get cold if he comes back". Her voice was very lovely, Patrick thought.

"Well, perhaps i could wear it until your friend came, if he does indeed come" almost desperate for the unused sweater.

"No, i just couldn't. It would probably be stetched out after you used it and if my friend did come, it just would not fit him anymore. Im terribly sorry, but i must be on my way. It was a pleasure talking with you." She shook his hand, turned around, and continued her walk.

Patrick didn't seem to have ANY luck that day. He sat down on a bench and considered his options...


Well. Thats it for Patrick right now. I hope you have fun with it. Rich in symbolism. Dr. Yuan would be proud.

Patrick Returns

I call it....Patrick Gets Cold

One day our friend Patrick went for a walk in the park. It was nippy out, so he put on a sweater. He got down to the park and smelled the fresh air. It was very nice.

"Look at all the trees!" he exclaimed. "Im going to count them". And he did. 1 tree....2 tree....3 tree...4 tree. The last tree looked a little funny. It was practically bare except for one origami flower some gentle sould had put on the topmost branch.

As he looked and admired, he felt something catch his sweater. Patrick, with his short attention span, immediately found a shiny nickel and was divirted from the thread from his sweater, quickly unraveling the whole thing.

After becoming five cents richer, Patrick realized that he was much, much colder. His sweater had come undone!

"Oh NO!" cried Patrick, "My girlfriend made that for me!". Patrick continued his walk, although his favorite sweater was now a loose ball of yarn. He carried it with him, maybe his girlfriend would make it into a new sweater. But Patrick was cold now, he could not wait for a new sweatshirt. He came to the decision that he must borrow somebody elses. He would probably lend a sweatshirt to a poor soul, why would anybody else do different?

He spotted a pretty girl with nice dark hair. She had on a black sweater with a cartoon character on it. It was very nice. She looked kind of sad. Patrick walked up to her and asked her what was wrong.

"Oh nothing" she said. Patrick didn't really believe her, but it was cold and he needed her sweater.

"Look, i'll level with you. Its cold out and i need a sweater. Would you mind terribly if i borrowed yours?"

She looked at him funny. Did he really ask her that? He didnt even look like he could fit it because he was so small. Why would she give her sweater to him when there were obviously guys who would fill it up the whole way and not waste valuable space.

"mmmm...Actually, it IS rather chilly out, would you mind terribly if i keep it?"

"No...not at all. Thank you for your time." Patrick walked away. He was sad but didn't really mind. Mind over matter, he thought. And besides, there was another pretty girl right across the road, he might go and ask her...


That all you get for now. Maybe later i'll finish it.

Curiously Strong...

I like the altoids slogan 'curiously strong mints'. Its just so awesome cos it fits. Like solid listerine. But then their sour altoids, i mean, they are STILL curiously strong, but thats not always a good thing. I do like the sours its just taht they taste like a citrusy peel. Like the tangerine sours taste good, but they taste like they put the peel in there too. I remember that one time Dayu ate that whole lemon to get out of class 3 minuts early. That was highlarious.

BananaBread

A little while ago when i was eating my precious banana bread slathered with my favorite fake butter, i sneezed causing momentary delight. Half a second later i realized that that savory bananabread slathered with my favorite butter had made its presence known...in my nose, causing discomfort. after drinking about 2 glasses of milk, nothing had worked, so i did the smart thing...i poured some milk down my nose. you might be thinking "wrong hole, dumbass", but hey, it worked. so now my nose is a picnic ground and i am left wondering: am i doomed to forget this miniscule, yet characterizing event? so i thought about what i should do and i decided to make a poemy thing about the experience. i call it, Nose PicKnic...enjoy.

Yogurt butter, my favorite spread
On my sweet banana bread
But today my breadly treat
Could be considered anything but sweet
Its forgotton vow to give me yum
Has ended so ungratefully in my tum

I ate my bread with great delight
Until my chewing turned to fright
I felt that sneeze a mile off
And tried to block it with a cough
But my resistance was fought in vain
This dreadful sneeze, it was my bane

With fright'ning force this wind it blew
And caused destruction every way it knew
Mostly though i felt a pain from my nose
And i felt it e'ery way my nose knows
When i recovered, confirmed was my fear
Of my sweet banana bread, stuck in here

I flew to the fridge, and searched for the cure
The milk, the whole milk, cow-ly pure
I drank near the whole thing in quite a flash
My head reeling, from the milk, and the dash
When it did not work i became even more scrd
Cos the plan that i had my nose never heard

Quick thinking be me as i tilted my head
If i did this wrong i just might be dead
Resting the carton up on my chin
I soon began cursing my nostrils so thin
Pouring the white liquid into my nose
I wished i poured better, 'stead of all over my clothes

I coughed and i hacked and i hexxed my illwitting
Until i found that the bread was tired and quitting
It retreated to my throat, desperate for ground
But sadly, the banana bread soon found
It was caught in a trap, of my own design
I call it a swallow, no need to post signs

So now ends my tale of pain and defeat
Of this once, yummy and savoury treat
Its gone now, exiled to my big gut
Only to depart from there, out of my butt
Now i must leave, but you know the moral
If you eat banana bread, make it not nasal, but oral



Fin!

I Pledge

I pledge, to my unicycle
that i will ride you every day that i can
i will do my best
to ride you with comfort and pleasure
and to hit kelly and connie and stina
for they are the only people who read this
when they make jokes about this pledge
sounding like a promise to rape my unicycle
which i would never do
because i respect you too much
and yea
god bless san francisco, california.

Obliterate

Right now. There are two things. Two things in my life. In my life that need to be. Need to be. Be completely and utterly destroyed.

1) Any unnecessary feelings which include, but are not limited to : sadness for any length of time longer than 2 days, depression of any sort, and feeling i do not understand (basically the one we call 'summer').

2) Any unnecessary people. These people include Muniboy. Mothboy. Poserboy. Swirlyskirt. and the Shepard.




Ive noticed that everyday this school year i have met a hot girl and a crazy person. Example: AP Psych and Precalc - Wow. Whoever that senior is. I must get closer to. At least get shot down by. That same day i met the fisherman. Next day - precalc. Other very hot girl. i loves my seniors. same day. banging head against book guy.

Must destroy.

Ins And Outs...What Else?

Who wouldnt be pleased with themselves? I mean thats one and a half really cos one was just an assumption boosted by an enormous part of my brain. and no thats not the one that helps me spell 'necessary'. then i got to get to the 3 outs. yea i guess its 3. i dont want it to be but it should be. considering he are ate the other two. well i guess i are ate one of his. and yea. i guess. maybe i'll just leave it at two. anyway. shouldnt YOU be jealous of ME? and not the other way around. god i feel so much anger toward everyone else cos i have to try so hard to get by. it doesnt look it. but sometimes, when you just sit and listen to the white noise on the radio, you get zoned out and really know what youre feeling. i wish i knew that earlier. its so....zen or stoner....but it works kinda. i guess im as green this way as i am the other way...maybe i should stop being a little bitch and just stop blogging. that way everything stays inside where it can never be used to my disadvantage. cos then nobody would know...maybe its better that way?

i guess gus is right tho...


and i really like the stickers that say "kiss me, im carbon based"

Your Move, Holy Man

Church. I was thinking about it today. quite funny. first of all, no matter how holy church is, being the house of god and all, theres always a little bit of evil there. like that one pretty girl in church who gives you impure thoughts. youre trying to look at the priest, pretending like his homily is totally relevant and his jokes are really funny, and then she shows up. always dressed in clothes that could make a grown man cry all the while flying under the nun radar.

then theres the cantor. if not ultraannoying im-the-one-who-sings-here-therefore-i-should-get-the-eucharist-first-kinda-bastard, then its the cantor who fits into evility A listed above and has the most beautiful voice and just fills your head with that haaaaaleluiah. Then to top it all off theres the guy who wants to embarrass you in front of all these people so he sings really horribly hoping you'll laugh. and when you do the entire church looks at you like "does he not accept the lord, our god, as his saviour?" And its HIS FAULT!"

Nobody knows the moves in church, you gotta look out for the old people cos theyre the only ones who do. you judge them by how much hair they have... in their ears, not too much cos that means their senile, but o well. you just follow them and hope for the best. and my mom would always sign me up for the reading, id always forget my contacts too so i couldnt read it. "uhh.. a letter...from the apostage..to saint tom dick and harry." its the BIBLE, its not like you can adlib the bible "umm.. a letter from judas, to the apostles...ummm.. dear apostles! how was your weekend... it sure is hot, down here...tell jesus 'hey!'..this is the word of the lord. amen"

then its snack time, right in the middle of mass. and the priiest chants "whoooo wants yumyuuuuums...iiii made snaaaaaaacks!" and you'd all rush in line. be the first to get the "cruton o' christ". he'd hide the bowl behind his back "no, im not gonna give it to you till you say amen". i always wanted to steal the bowl, take it home and put milk in it. like a cereal. "start your day off the holy way with ChristChex". Youd open the box and it'd light up and go haaaaaaleluiah. and a little angle would flutter out. that would be cool.

popemobile...

Tell Me More Tell Me More

Man..she was pretty. AND i could understand her. Thank god she lives within 15 miles of london. damn york accents i hate them. NO BATTER! anyhoo. soft, hazel eyes with nice brown hair. a couple freckles and very nice figure. i could go on but its getting harder to remember. she'll be out of my memory in a day or so. damn i should have gotten and EMAIL! damndamndamn.

Three Lefts Make A Right

and even if you COULD drive on the wrong side of the road, you CANT park on the WRONG side of the WRONG side of the road.

UK is OK

God. I really need to talk to somebody. Alex Ching just doesnt cut it. Everybody must promise to wake up at 8 just in case im online. ok? and if you want a postcard just leave your address

Pissing Summer Away

Man. Doing dumb stuff with friends kicks ass. Today, after fight club and 7/11, alex and i went to the park and hit tiny apples with a baseball bat. i made 6 of them explode on contact and got us alllllll juicy. then we went home and did the same exact thing in his backyard. just blasted those thinngs for about 5 or 6 houses down. i hope we didnt break anything. but yea. that was fun. and then you cant forget the beggining of the week when me and gus found the boat and had a lake trip. that was fun. just stupid and, in Jimmy Feliciano's words, "fucked up". tomorrow, as my last day of real summer with friends, i'll watch harold and kumar go to white castle with karen,kelly,kenneth (thats almost racist). while it might be a little more organized then a crazy summer should be, it'll do by far.

no more summer after tomorrow. i guess its been a good run. first SD with travis on the train. i turned 16 on that trip. health ed wasnt too bad considering the company and the easyness. running with gus in the mornings been great. great america with karen and jence. gossip circle with steven and karen, dimsum derby with steven and nicole. track practice. moive marathons with the guys. a new great friend. movies all the way thru. so many. dodgeball, saved, ummmm, spidey 2, others....i cant remember, and now harold and kumar. i really did good this summer. really good. all thats left is the summer reading.

but on sat i shall be in ireland. should be very fun. if my dad doesnt bitch it up. but away with that. i'll work on my accent and send postcards to those who give me addresses to send to. and finally, im unafraid to shave before we go because i do not, repeat, do not, have sampson like power in my facial hair. i'll miss you all and see you on the 24th.

-Your Beloved Mike

Bland

cos you know it is. i, in fact, have the most bland name ever. novak. thats why it would be freaky if i went inside my own portal. it would be really boring. noooooovak? novak novak novak. and then everybody would have my face. that would be scary. especially if i stayed there. just think of kissing yourself.  somepeople do that already, like kelly and william. but for me, thats just nasty. in more ways than one. technically thats incest. and im not from bush country.

john malkovitch is really boring. i'd rather be somebody like a porn star. or spock. but i think i could really make a difference if i was joel madden. i'd jump into his body and during my next concert or mtv broadcast, id tell the posers of the world what losers they are, and that britney and justin and xtina and kelly and clay are soooooooooooooo cool and that they should go back so we can make fun of them for being teenyboppers of a different sort. yea. go to hell joel madden. then i'd jump off a cliff to end this nonsense.

being john malkovitch is the rockenist movie ever

Without A Paddle

Well technically we had one. today i got up later and went to gus's. But when we were warming up, i spotted an abandoned boat in the reeds. it had a whole bunch of hobo stuff in it like clothes and fishing poles and stuff. so we went down and after 25 min, we pulled it ashore thru the use of a stick and a piece of extention cord. man that was hard. we had to tie the stick to the cord and throw it in the boat and try and hook it on something. then we hopped in and rowed to the middle of the lake. we had the wind at our backs so it took only a short time. but coming back we had to paddle much harder and faster. we got back and tied up the boat. we decided we would throw out all the hobo junk in it, bring it back to gus's, fix it up a bit, and christen it the R.B. HOBOAT. we had plans for that boat. like next summer we'd take it down a river or something. or just a lake. just for fun. then in the meantime, use it for a romantic gettaway for the ladies and one of us.....in the middle of lake merced? well i guess. but yea. that would be awesome but when we tried to get gus's dad to let us, he told us it was fucked up like 100 times so we din do it. "man that would be awesome. but it SO FUCKED UP. i mean FUCK. thats just fucked up. what if the hobo comes back and gets fucking pissed. man if he found us he would FUCK US UP. like in a fucking scary movie. man...thats fucked...". i love gus's dad. hes so silly. good times though. we'll do it tomorrow if its there.

Bracelets and Shoes

Well. I was looking thru an old drawer and i found a bracelet my dad got on one of his many adventures. its like kavi's but bigger and mannlier. but its fun. then. i gots new shoes. BLUE NORDSTROMS CANVAS SHOES! they make a clean squeaky sound on hard surfaces. i'll get rid of it soon. i hope. they still have that "new shoe" smell. you know... as opposed to that "old shoe" smell, which is bad as opposed to good like the "new shoe" smell. for my new shoes. yes.

Scientologists

Well. Its official. In future years i will become rich off a book about this period in my life. Today after the class party for health, with the pickle juice drinking and the gambling and the videogames and the ditching early and the goddamn yous you bastards, we met up with CHAFE (CodyHAnnahFElicia) who are Stevens Screenname Stalkers (WE LOVE YOU GLAMTHASIL!) and went to the Church of Scientology. That was highlarious. I wish i went, but i wouldnt be able to control my giggling i think. maybe i could. i definately could, but i din want to get caught. So hannah felicia and steven went in. steven was chinese/japanese and only spoke both. hannah (connie calvin) was the translator and felicia (amy) was hannah's half sister from hong kong. Me Cody and Connie went to Clown Alley in case they needed to be saved (as in rescued from danger as opposed to satan or both i guess) and came to get them posing as neighbors showing them around town. While SHAFE was in there they looked for a tour but there were none to be had because a lady lied to them last time. The gave them the whole shtick and showed them a cheezy movie. There were secret rooms and stuff and they tried to suffocate SHAFE with intense heat while watching the brain washing video. Then they came out. We walked down a block or two and kept seeing scientologists everywhere so we found a fountain and each took a penny, turned our backs, asked for protection from scientologists, and tossed the pennies over our shoulders into the fountain (although i secretly wished for something else!) But yea. I hope connie has nightmares, they should be interesting. Just like the last ones... www.bunnygurl.blogspot.com . anywho. have fun and dont eat the cake.

Aha! My Story In Its Glory

Heres my story. Pat II is our crackerjack prize. Bonnie is Brazilian Connie. And Carter is Connies brother. Fernando is code name for a special boy in China.

 
Pat II

             Once upon a time there was a young adult named Pat II. Pat II was a handsome, well-adjusted young man. But one day his girlfriend Bonnie left for Brazil. Pat II was really sad; in fact the only thing that him cheered up was the fact that she said that she’d always be true to him and that when she came back two years from now, they’d pick up where they left off and be lovers forever. But then, about a month after Bonnie’s departure, Pat II’s father and mother ran off to Tibet and left poor Pat II all by himself. Now Pat II could not afford to live in the house that his family used to live in, was evicted, and moved into a trailer near school. “When will I come out of this nosedive?” Pat II thought.

            This whole situation made Pat II very sad. So sad that Pat II fed himself to feel better. He didn’t feel better, but Pat II thought he WOULD if he ate more. Every morning Pat II would eat 20 doughnuts and every night Pat II would take 3rds and 4ths or sometimes even 5ths and 6ths, and in between Pat II would always be munching on something. Naturally, in a very short time Pat II got extremely obese and the more that Pat II thought about being obese, the more he ate to help ease the pain. Clearly, it was a vicious cycle.

            Weighing in at more than 500 pounds, Pat II could not fit through his trailer door anymore. Indeed, he was stuck on his bed, every hour of every day. His friend, Carter had to deliver his food and school stuff. Carter, because he was such a good friend, also had other jobs like helping Pat II change his nasty, stinky, and grease-ridden clothes, and changing Pat II’s bedpan (Pat II could not use the bathroom like a normal person anymore). Now, Carter was a good friend, but there was only so much he could do for so long. Carter had track practice and honors classes to attend to. So one day, Carter went over to Pat II’s house with a set of tapes. “Now whatever could those tapes in your hands be?” asked Pat II. Carter simply replied, “We’re getting you’re lard butt into shape.”

               Everyday, after doing his duties as a friend, Carter would pop in one of the Tae Bo tapes that he had bought for Pat II. It started out as a lift of the leg or arm every once in a while, but gradually and over time, Pat started lifting his limbs faster and longer, until he could stand up again. He still had to use his bedpan and stay inside his trailer, but at least he could stand up. He continued to use the tapes more and more until he could fit through the door to his bathroom and sometimes out of his trailer. But Pat II didn’t stop there, he continued to use his Tae Bo tapes until he could fit into his old jeans and jump up and down and not break a sweat. It seemed that Pat II was at the top of his game again.

                  At this point, it had been two years since Bonnie had left for Brazil. Remembering this, Pat II took a break from his Tae Bo tapes, took a shower, gelled his hair, put some cologne on, and was on his way to pick up flowers along the way to the airport. When Bonnie’s plane landed, Pat II hid behind a large potted plant and intended to surprise her, but she didn’t get off the plane. Just when everybody had gotten off the plane, and Pat II heard a girl giggling. Hidden behind his large potted plant, he watched and saw Bonnie holding hands with a dashing young Brazilian man. Scared senseless, Pat II ran away as fast as he could, dropping the flowers he bought for his young lass in his haste. Pat II ran and ran and ran. He ran until he reached the parking lot at which point he suffered a massive heart attack from the cholesterol that he built up from his fat escapade.

               Pat II’s funeral was a week later. Bonnie was there, in the front row, crying her eyes out as her guide consoled her. You see, while Bonnie was in Brazil, there had not been ample light in the room she was living in. So after two years of reading science fiction novels in the semi-dark, Bonnie had lost her vision. Fernando had been a colleague of hers and offered his help to her and her horrible condition. She had been looking forward to introducing Fernando to her boyfriend Pat II, but after Fernando spotted the crowd in the parking lot and told her what had happened, she just couldn’t help but feel like dying. So she did.

THE END

Yeayea

You know what? Youre a bitch. I already you were, but i didnt expect it from you. well you know what? you can go to hell. get out of here. get out of here... i dont want you to be here, or there, or anywhere. just be away.

phhh...women

Ok. you girls are really messing with me. First of all, we got the bitch who expects me to be friends and maybe even more (noway) but then always acts like shes better than everybody else and that the world doesnt accomodate her. goddamn shes just so negative all the time and it makes me want to just leave! goddamn she annoys me. And then lets see. theres those 6 letters which make my legs cave in but not anymore. that annoys me. bitch. then theyre steves remark...which is quite annoying. because then id have to wait until after ireland if anyting. then id be screwed because of worlds. then theyre the OTHER possibility of a  redhead from ireland. but yea. you all suck. except fi almost. at least she gave me candy. and winnie needs to buck up but she ok too. and connie owes me more connie points. im at about 1000. so only 999,000 more points to go andi get a hug. gee. i wonder how much that is in Euros...

Cheese and Rice!

man. just that. just friggin that. so yea. gossip circle ditched me. thats really too bad. i needed to discuss with them. oh well. we'll meet later. but yea. so many issues. of minor importance but STILL. goddamn it. still there. but i dont care. i just feel bad for not caring anymore. its like. maybe i should, but yet again...anywho. i think it may be time for one last hurrah. just to....
 
I can't believe this ever happened,
I didn't think it ever could,
I'm the author of sappy love songs,
Trading in my bachelorhood.
Something snapped deep inside me,
Something that somebody said,
I felt the brush of angels wings then,
Your voice echoed in my head.
 
[Chorus:]Ugly Day the sun is shining,
Every cloud's got a silver lining.
Ugly day the skies are blue,
Now every day is ugly without you.
 
Are the one pure thing,
That I've always prayed for.
Scales are falling from my eyes,
I must have been so blind before.
I would lie down on the street,
To keep the dust off of your feet,
I would kneel each time I kissed you,
Anything baby I miss you.
 
Today was an ugly one,
Just like all the others.
All the flowers and the birds,
Making me feel smothered.
I would lie down on the street,
To keep the dust off your feet,
I would kneel each time I kissed you,
Anything baby I miss you.

Such Wit! Such Charm!

yeayea i know. skillz. but thats not always a good thing. for one thing. i have at least 3 issues for the gossip circle on monday. relatively medium ones. but yea. its good thing that im spreading my horizons cos its hard when you only have one person to talk to and sometimes youre busy or shes busy and you never get to talk so it builds up and builds up until you think you're gonna burst but you take it like a man and push it down only for it to come out 30 years later when im seeing my shrink because my wife left and took the dog! yea. so ok. im having dreams but im scared. they all end the same way. with....but theyre not as vivid anymore. for that time i could remember every last detail. but now i can hardly remember the good part (its more like the bad part when i wake up), but yea. i could be anywhere, like on a ship, or in the park, or just on the street, and somehow i just jump to the same part. too bad i cant recognize the place cos then maybe it would be an omen. but maybe itll fit later on. but phoo. now im just all worked up. so i guesssss i shall take your advice and just shut up so foo y'all. something about bedbugs....and lipgloss....
 
 
 
haha. those two white girls were mugging at Xtinawithacrissnotacross cos she was walking next to chad friggin michael MURPHY

RicoChico

Baby RicoChico. so small. i should have gotten a pic with my new CAMERAPHONE! but i didnt for some reason. i got caught up in beavis and butthead. hes so small and can jump so high and shivers and sheds and looks so cute and loves me more than christina cos im a guy and so much cooler than icky xtina with a crissnotacross. so yea. i got like 3 songs in my head at the same time and they all have different beats so it gets annoying. try "the great pretender" "addicted" and "i need a fix". wowzers that sucks. but anyhoo. byebye my chico. i think i might steal him so riley can have a pet doggie.

Ancy in the Pancy

Well i guess its a good sign when people get ancy. cos if they didnt then they wouldnt be really exited or nervous about anything. so if they were ancy, it would mean just the opposite. maybe thats something good. and maybe im just dumb. the problem is, its 50/50. out of two occasions. the winnie one, which i was totally off, but then winnies just funny. funnygirl but fun. and then there was the other one. i was right on from the start. boom, only a little hint, a whiff even, and badabingbadaboom i got it. and its funny. but i dont feel bad probably because deep down inside im a bad person. in fact, im having fun with it. but o well. just further proves im evil. but anywho. i must develop my tracy/kevin/isaac/speech skills for next year. i hope to become the team father. but thats just me. i'll fight you off for it. but i shall welcome a team mother. and team aunties and uncles. you know. to share the burden of the team babies. speaking of babies, im gettting hungry. so nite

Pick a Side?

Yea i guess i should. but its fun the hard way. and i feel guilty the second way. either or it hurts, but the first way is fun. anyhoo. i was bored and put in my simple plan cd. its not like theyre bad or anything. theyre a really cool bunch of guys. its just that along the way they got a little too popular and now their a pop punk monster. oh well. i balanced it out with "poppunkband" cos i love that song. anyhoo. but it was a nice fight for me. it really related and i felt bad. but then i love feeling bad. i guess its masochistic but o well. cos at practice today i hated being there. why couldnt somebody come save me? cos you all suck. go gossip circle.

i gets the gossip circle and the dimsum derby. i am so cool.

Gossip Circle

We are so cool. MeStevenKaren. Gossip Circle. Alamo. You cant come. i love it. its so fun. get to learn everything. and plus. boba and fishies and books. so fun. baseball, foursquare. kickball, chalk. damn people. hot people. i love it all. i love my friends. such good friends. unlike those bastards i used to call friends. yea. that means you guys. goddamn assholes. i love you. but goddamn assholes. especially you. just up and leave. but i cant hate you for that. just born a FUCKING ASSHOLE! goooOOOO GOSSIP CIRCLE!

Its not like its lost or not there anymore...

Cos we went to in-n-out and borders together. granted with dayu but still. you cant tell me there was nothing there. cos there was. THERE WAS! maybe if it was a hopeless situation id be ok. but its NOT! and thats what pisses me off. its pointless and stupid. STUPID! goddamn it. i just want to go home. but i cant. cos its as bad in here as it is out there. go away. just go away...

Birds of a Feather

Cos you know we really are. and no matter what we will always be. and im sorry such silly things came between us. and that i missed you too. we really should take a vacation from all this biz and just hang out like old times. like last year. best buds. and we should try to make this work. cos us guys gotsta stick together...buddy


(gotcha! you thought it was about someone else! huh? well its not. its about my friend who will always be my friend, nomatterwhat)

Dad

i don't like the things you like
and you don't like the things i like
she don't like the things they like
so who the fuck is really right
see a skinhead at a show
let him know he's got to go
fuck white power, the kkk
asshole

everyone's an asshole
my mom's an asshole
you're a fucking asshole
and i'm a goddamn asshole

mom and dad, the grateful dead
major labels and straight edge
coors and school and roller blades
god, rick james and oakley shades
fishing, wayne, silly jocks
nazis, midgets, new tube socks
l.d. from m.r.&r.
and fucking zeppelin
man

hippies, barleys, pearl jam
chili peppers, case of spam
riot grrlls, ponch and jon
squash and pork and carmel flan
we hate these things
we hate you, too
go fuck a monkey in the zoo
oscar meyer has a way with
b.o.l.o.g.n.a.



Basically thats how ive been feeling for a while and i swear if i dont get a permanent vacation from this household i just might crack! Please. Help me here. Sleepovers? Camping trips? Some friendly kidnappers? I'm willing to listen to your ideas. It's gotten to such a point that i might need that health ed class more than you think. I just want to go into my room and never come out. Or leave this house and never go back...

Interesting

So today after fun Victorias Secret stuff. which kinda felt bad but the 6 girls buying panties so i was ok i guess. kinda. but then i biked over to stevens. and on the bus i talked to him about the weird im and told him it was from that akemi0009, and guess what? thats karens middle name. so we got off at her house and gave her a call. so we all hung out at alamo and i learned some very intersting stuff. VERY. like all that stuff about...and....and even ME! hahaha im so cool. i love you guys.

Just Unpacked

yep. well. ive done it. i feel bad for my xanga. more than a year. thats pretty good. but o well. im too sentimental about everything. i need something fresh to start a new school year off. and the vacation to ireland. should be fun. if dad doesnt screw it up like he always does...