Naked Trucker

I mean, i dont think i could do it, but it would be fun. It would be fun to be a young and handsome Catholic priest. If you were a cool guy, everybody would love you. You'd get to talk to a lot of people. And you'd definitely have the seat of honor everywhere you went and shit. And yea, i think it would be cool to make friends with a young rabbi like in the ben stiller movie that im watchin now. Anyway, none of this would ever happen because im less eloquent than whoever writes for Edward Norton. What was this post about? Whatever. I'm bored and watching movies

Racism From Old White People Is Hard To Listen To, But You Gotta Force Yourself To Pay Attention

Give and you shall receive. I can see that. I mean, it just happened a moment ago. Right in front of my eyes. Nothing big or glamorous, but satisfying nonetheless.

I was gorging myself with tortilla chips while watching latenight TV when I got down to my last chips. It was time to stop getting fatter and put the chips away, so I took a moment to decide how to eat the last three I had in my hand. One down, easy. Two down, one left! Three d- ... Does Riley want one?

Riley is my dog. We call him dumb and fat, but really he's quite superior to most dogs (and some humans, I may add). He can play hide and seek (almost, anyway. He can sniff you out when you're hiding, but he really only hides his face. He thinks that as long as he can't see you, you can't see him. But that's close enough). He understands a lot of words and phrases, although he pretends he doesn't. Riley knows basic words like "sit", "stay", "good boy", etc. But he also knows "get the hell out", "what are you looking at?", and "dial 911!" We really only call him stupid because we kinda think he's a human. He's just the dumbest human that I've ever met. But that's not a fair way to put it. Riley is a very good dog. But that's not point.

Riley most pronounced talent is his ability to beg. And when that third chip was almost in my mouth he turned on the heat. I felt it! My cheek was burning. I turned to see his big, well, puppy dog eyes boring straight into me. I knew what he wanted. But I was busy gaining unnecessary weight. Did I have the time, the energy, the willpower to hand my last tortilla chip to this sub-human?

It turns out I did. I flipped the chip up high and held my breath. Riley did not disappoint. He caught it, he caught it good. He just snatched it out of the air and snapped down with a satisfying CRUNCH. That's what did it for me. The crunch. That was the sound of our comaraderie, of our friendship. If I could sum up our entire relationship as interspecies friends in just one sound. That crunch would have to be it. We were an inseparable team, and the crunch proved it. I wish I could have sounds to describe all my relationships with everything. With my friends (it would probably be a belch), with my family (an angry yell), or even with strangers (a sniff? an "umm"?) I could go on forever describing our moment, because it really was an astonishing moment for me, but I won't.

But I never would have heard this crunch, if I didn't take a second to think about another person, or dog, I guess. I know it sounds like such a small thing and I really should not be boasting about my temporary bout with selflessness (the past two sentences alone have 5 "I's" and a "my"), but this event just clicked in my brain (two "my's"). I learned a lesson: Give. Give whatever you have. Even if you have nothing but a half-stale tortilla chip, give. Give and you shall receive. I received a confirmation of brotherhood with my dog in exchange for a 15 calorie snack.

MORAL of the story: Give and you shall receive.

SUBMORAL of the story: Don't mess with my dog. Riley will outsmart you and then he will fuck you up, son!




Does anybody else think Conan O'Brian looks kinda chinky?


YOUR MOVE, MORGAN!

Stan Darsh

DEAR CONNIE CHUNG!

please dont die in taiwan. i know there was an earthquake, but you be safe with your family, yea? good.

Gonna See If I Can't Unwind

Watching Southpark christmas specials didnt do it. Tickle me Emo almost did it. http://www.ebaumsworld.com/2006/12/tickle-me-emo.html. And I didnt get to see a Christmas Story. Eww. This christmas kinda blows.

Got To Be A Better Way

Will somebody please cure this crushing boredom. I've watched more tv in the past couple days than i have ever watched ever ever ever. I'm going to smash my head into the wall if something doesnt happen soon. refaaaaaaaaaaaffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffgsdf;eakjr;glkj;vaweosrifvnkdl'avserfweeeesgplkdfmvvvaesrtpseriyhjjc/lkvb

Aw Here It Goes Again

BIATCH!

Physical Anthropology - A
Western Civilization: 1714-present - B+
Academic Writing - B
Major Works Of European Literature: Homer to Dante - PASS
GPA: 3.5


No sweat! Suck my D, college.



In other news, i'm a douchebag.
In, still, other news, i still feel weird.

I've Come To Decide That The Things That I Tried Were In My Life Just To Get High On

RHCP dominated the day, i guess. But i'm unsure of it's lyrical powers, still. Although Decision was half my idea, I still feel shitty. Ugh. I'll see.

Sorry for the xanga post. Heyo, keep on keepin on.

Cos Dat's How She ROOOOLLLLLLLLS, Son!

Wow. VH1 is eating my life. Not that it's all that great. It's all rushing back to me. You can't run forever, even though you try. Ball and Chain, huh?

At least im learning how to play it.

"Ivy Miller, Will You Be My Valentine"

Goddamn you, Casey Affleck. Whatever. Reese Witherspoone is actually really hot with red hair. I think lots of people are really hot with red hair. I'm thinking of inseminating a red head girl and then stealing the baby so that my child will be ultra amazing. I shall then proceed to live vicariously through it. My life as a red head. I should write a book like that.

Sloopy

Once again, Jenny has managed to brighten up my day. After my two hard exams, which took 6 fucking hours, btw, my hand is so beat i feel like chewing off my fingertips. So I go to check the mail...empty again. I come back to my room to fix my bike, and i see that mark has already checked the mail and had thrown it on top of my laptop. What a surprise! Jenny wrote me another postcard! From Croatia! It's nice to know that someone is thinking of you. That's why i feel like shit. I gotta send you guys some shit. Like now. I gotta find some ucsb postcards and send them out to all of you. But I'm fucking lazy. We'll see if i'm a good friends or not, eh?


Coming back to finals. Fuck. I was all studied up. I spent a couple days just studying, productively, i might add. I finished at around 11 oclock the night before. PERFECT TIMING! I would stay up another hour and talk, get 7 hours of sleep, shit, shower, shave, before getting to my Anthro 5 exam, yea? Well, I go to bed at midnight and i can't fall asleep! It's to hot, the cover is too light, the window is open and the drape blows against my head, my arm is uncomfortable and now it's asleep before i am fuckfuckfuck sleep. This is extremely unusual. I usually fall asleep within like 5 mins. This wasn't good. I asked mark for a sleeping pill and he didnt have any. So i thought about what i normally do before i go to bed, and remembered a couple thigns i forgot, so i did that and tried again. Nothing. Well, i eventually fell asleep around 2, and woke up at 745. 15 mins before my final. BADBADBAD. neel had to wake me up. i just threw on pants and ran and brushed my teeth and biked to class. I kicked ass on that final i think, but I'm still pissed off that my alarm clock didnt go off. Well, 3 hours later i had lunch and then at noon i began my western civ final. Shit that was long. Easy, but long. My TA better stand up and applaud after he reads my first two essays. They were simply amazing. The last one was simply shit. I couldnt even pick up my pen, my fingers were so tired. But i finished and now i'm nearly done with finals. I just have my Clit final tomorrow and well, that's pass/fail now cos my teacher is a dumbshit, so as long as i dont fail it, i'll be fine. A good quarter. I have over a 3.0, but i'm not sure how far. That makes me really happy. Fuck you school. I beat you. See you next quarter. I'm off for 3 weeks vacation.

I'm going to have fun, make some money, hang out with old buddies, have christmas, and party a little bit too. Just can't wait, motherfucker.

Swing Life Away

Oh. And i'm learning guitar. It's awesome. So awesome.

Pet Sounds

I hope my life doesnt turn out like Sloop John B. I think I might have to start reinvesting my resources. But it might be too late to find new peeps here.

rarara

i can't write 'fuck' big enough to express my anger


later:

sometimes i think that god or karma takes away all the little things from me so that i can have the big things in life. example, my parents can pay for my education but i never get a higher roll in risk, i tend to spit when im excited, and i never win anything that involves luck. i'm not sure if i would like to trade this in. a "normal" life with nothing but little losses is just mediocre. a "disadvantaged" (what else could i say instead of this? "not awesome"?) always has its ups and downs and thats what makes it great.

i think i summed it up beautifully when i told natalie that my life has no plot.

shut up and get to studying, novak

Mississippi On Her Knees

Fuck this shit. Since today is already shitty, I'm going to go to bed and tempo run in the afternoon.