I Missed You

We watched a movie in Newhouse today about venomous animals. They were trying to 'milk' this deadly spider of its venom, but there was a problem. Question: How do you catch a deadly spider? Answer: Pay an Austrailian. Question: How the fuck do you milk a deadly spider? Answer: Piss it off. Question: How? Answer: Blow on it. Question: Why does every animal on God's green earth hate when humans blow in their face? Answer But Kind Of A Question: Do you like dog/cat/deadly spider breath?

I guess nothing likes human breath. When I blow in Riley's face he scrunches his eyes up. The cat, LuLu, does that, too. Then she hisses and runs away. And the deadly spider? He rears up and bares his fangs, extremely irritated and so ready to strike that his fangs are dripping with lethal venom. I didn't think my breath was that bad, I mean, I brush twice a day.

But then again, we think animals have bad breath. Ever hear of "dog breath"? That's a pretty bad rap. Ever smell a cat's breath? They eat fish and nasty cat food. And I don't think I ever want to get close enough to a deadly spider that I could smell it's breath. But I guess it's a fair trade off.

It brings up a couple questions though. Do animals like each other's breath? What about animals that don't breathe, like fish? Do they get annoyed when other fish blow bubbles in their face? Do hummingbirds have bad breath? All they eat is nectar, and that's delicious. It's really too bad that I'm not going to think about these. It's not really too bad that i won't, it's actually too bad that i'm to lazy to care.

MORAL: Don't get close enough to smell a deadly spider's breath and don't blow in it's face if you don't want to die horribly.

PS: I'm happy to report that my man shield is holding at a hearty 80%. Even today's episode of Scrubs couldn't touch me, in both senses of the word.

PS PLUS!: The couples in the new safter VW Jetta commercials. The driver and his date were black (but in the we're black, but in the whitest way possible), but the white guy in back had an asian gf (and not the i'm asian in the whitest way possible). The trend has been growing faster and faster. Now we just need more of Sati's parents types on TV.


I posted. Happy, Connie?