Tenderloin

You know what. I have been alive for seventeen years. That's a long time. And yet, I don't think I've ever had a birthday this good. Elementary school? Maybe. Pirros, the Jungle, and Qzar were awesome. Middle school? Chillin' with 2 homies at Great America or BBQ at my house. Pretty cool. High school. Not so great. Girls always breaking up with me, people being kinda flakey, I've had better. But this year was different.

This year was one of the best birthdays that I have ever had. It's true, not everybody could be here on my birthday, but goddamn, every remembered! The only people who remember my birthday even exists are my parents. This year, people called me, emailed me, texted me, IMed me, everything. I went to Connie Chungs house accidentally and she gave me one of the best birthday presents ever. COMIC BOOKS (friggin Zits, Foxtrot, Farside, and Pearls Before Swine). Then I got a call at midnight from Yoongi and Jeena and Judie wishing me a happy birthday and asking me if I wanted to go to IHOP. I couldn't sneak out, but it's the thought that counts... I also got texts from from Christina, Gus, Alex, Chelsea, and Anna. Cynthia and Connie Li called too! And to top it off, Tommy, Levi, Morgan, and Johanna all met me at Pier 39 to hand out and have fun.

We met at Pier 39 and just chilled. We made the farm animals have sex with the army man, and the horse have sex with the god. I loved how it gallopped on top of Rover. We watched the lame performer for 45 minutes and he was ok. We waited for the F to go downtown but the tourists outnumbered us. So we walked down to North Beach and ate pizza. I opened my presents from Morgan and Jo and then we visited the CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY!

As Tommy bluntly puts it, 'The Church of Scientology is genius in the fact that is the most successful religion who's sole purpose is to sell a book'. We went inside and, unfortunately, the aliens who normally do your taxes were all on vacation. So we pretended to be interested and did the tour. They even showed us a video. We had a choice between the 40 minute Scientology video or the 25 minute Dianetics video. Guess which one we chose? It was a really cheesy movie about this guy who was paralyzed from the waist down. The evil psychologists (Scientologists think that psychology is a Nazi Science) are trying to disect his brain to test their cockamamie theories (which are totally ass backward. If you try to make something look bad, and you truly think it is bad, you shouldn't have to make it horribly inaccurate to stress your point). But guess what, Jerry (the paralyzed guy) gets a book called 'Dianetics' by L. Ron Hubbard (the L stands for 'Loony') and learns how to 'relive the pain and cure his condition'. It was a really bad movie in that it was a) cheesy b) inconsistent and c) wrongwrongWRONG! But yea. Then i went home and to dinner.

Dinner was aite. It was after dinner that was cool. I went to Dayu's house and watched some porn, Chapelle's Show, and Fight Club with Dayu, Anna, and Steph. Great movie. Then calls and WOOHOO i love my birthday.

I think there's a little more left, later. Hopefully... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!