The Chargers Looked Better With Blue Helmets

I guess I'll do this because even though I'm not still pissed about it, it's been something that I've wanted to write down for a long time. Although I feel bad for not just leaving well enough alone. I hope this doesn't come back to bite me in the ass.

Concerning the banishing of Joe M., the straw that broke the camel's back was when he broke my pipe. Joe was never a good smoker. He doesn't have the manners for it. There's a certain set of unspoken rules that all smokers should abide by. It's basically common sense, but it includes being generous with your green. This was not the case with Joe M. Usually if you want to smoke, if there are other people in the room who you know also smoke, it's impolite to not include them. Joe would do this all the time. Just light up right in front of a room full of stoners and not include anybody. If he was, for once, feeling generous, he would offer somebody a hit when he was pretty much done. Offering ash is not cool.

He also did other annoying things like cradling the piece right next to his mouth for what seemed like forever before he actually decided to take a hit. I was never in the mood to wait around a long time for somebody I don't like to finally smoke and maybe pass it to me. He would buy the shittiest weed too. Headache weed. Even though he knew get some from me when I went to the club. I think he show that his friends were cool, although to be honest, I think they were intentionally ripping him off. Nobody would pay that much for shitty product. AND HE WOULD ALWAYS PUT HIS ASHES ON THE FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT DICKHOLE. sorry. When I first met our neighbors, we happened to talk about Joe (he had been frequenting next door because they had video games and he thought that they liked him [because he "packed mad bowls" {of ash}]).

After a while (3 days), I knew it would be a bad idea to smoke with this guy. It wasn't worth bringing up because he would act like a knowitall and I would just get more pissed. So I never ever smoked with him. I did let him use my pipe, though. My small one, Wrigley. He pretty much sat on the couch all day with the little pipe cradled next to his big, pouty lips. I did hold a bit of a grudge, but if it meant it kept him from asking me about it all the time, I would just left it out for him to smoke day in day out. I never used it myself because I was grossed out by the nastyass saliva he'd leave on it because he has such big lips.

One day I noticed that there was a screen in my pipe. Screens are generally used to prevent small plant matter from getting sucked through the hole in the pipe. I never really had problems with scooby snacks before, but it was a harmelss addition to my pipe so I didn't say anything right away. Later on I found out that the screen was hiding something: a big fat shattered hole in the bowl of my pipe. The screen had been on for roughly two weeks, but this is the first time that I had seen that it was broken. He obviously broke my pipe and didn't tell me about it. Don't tell me, I'm just the guy who lets him smoke out of it for 14 hours a day.

He had broken my pipe without my knowledge, and instead of telling me about it, took it upon himself to walk down the block to Hempwise, buy a screen for 5 cents, and continue puffing away his life in front of the television. When I found out, I was PISSED. I hadn't seen him in a while because he had been dealing with the official stuff of getting fired from the university center (he had to go through some meeting formalities so that he could get hired by the university again). When he got home I confronted him about it. I asked him when he broke my pipe and he goes "What are you talking about? Oh.. I broke that last night". Note that I had said that the screen had been in there for two weeks. He was lying. He said that he would replace it and asked if he could keep the old one.

I told him no. He was kinda offset by this and told me that it is "customary" that if you break something and replace it, the owner should give the original one to you. That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard, and I told him so. It can't be "customary" to do that because I could easily accuse him of breaking my pipe so that he could keep the old one. It wasn't a bad idea to ask for the pipe, but I sure as hell didn't want to give it to him. If he had told me that he had broken my pipe, I could have been the one to walk a block and buy a screen for 5 cents.

Furthermore, he said that because of an altercation he had with Kevin he would not give me twenty bucks to pay for it, but that he would go with me to Hempwise to buy another one for me. Joe had apparently borrowed Kevins brand new bike and gotten it stolen. When he replaced it, it definitely wasn't up to par with the brand new bike, so Kevin asked how much he had payed for it and requested the difference. Now I know that was a bad idea. Kevin should have either accepted or rejected the bike. But this had nothing to do with replacing my pipe. If anything, he should have seen that by replacing my pipe he was doing the exact same thing as he did with Kevin and was hoping for a different result. Things dont work like that. He told me that I was taking advantage of the situation because I wanted money for the pipe so that I could upgrade it. Also ridiculous. Humans beings take advantage of situations. It's called intelligence. If he had said that I was taking advantage of him, he would have had a point. Additionally, I'm not going to be confined to one store to purchase a new pipe. Glasswork is art, you can't always find the art you like at the neighborhood shop and i certainly wasnt going to lug his ass around town looking for a new one.

He pretty much stormed out after I said that his ideas were stupid. On his way out I told him that if he's so concerned with the respect that other people have for him, he should respect them, and their stuff, in return. He countered that he had the higher moral ground because he hadn't raised his voice. For the record, he broke my stuff, didn't tell me about it, lied to me, failed to replace it, demanded the old one even though he REALLY didn't deserve it. I felt a little inclined to raise my voice.

But now he's gone and none of this matters. I wrote a letter to him that I never delivered that pretty much said all of this, so it's not even like I'm letting off steam. Sorry to waste your time. Maybe next time I'll have something cool to offer.