The lord god bird. Thought to be extinct for 45 years. But they FOUND ONE! In a swamp. In the south. Apparantly. Everybody in the birdnerdgroup started bursting out in tears when they realized that it wasn't extinct yet. LORD GOD...bird is back again. Quite a funny article.
I just saw that Gary Coleman commercial again. You know. The one about loans or savings or whatnot. I just realized that he looks just as tall as everybody else. The studio actually had the entire set remodeled to be proportionate to his height! The walls, the door, the desk - they even used a small laptop instead of a desktop to make him look bigger! That little man. That poor little man. He didn't even get to play himself in the Avenue Q musical. I loved that musical. I saw it debut in NY! And i have my two posters on my wall - WHAT THE FUZZ ARE YOU LOOKING AT? and I am NOT a closeted HOMOWHATEVER! Just nailed it right on the head. The internet IS for porn! Nothing to be ashamed of. Puppet sex is not against the constitution or the bible! You just gotta say you're sorry, afterwards. But yea.
Final order of business. I know that not that many people are interested in my summer plan, but for the few people it does concern, you better pay attention. Or not, whatever. First of all on my lists is concerts. If i do one thing this whole summer it's gonna be concert hopping. That means BFD (FOOFIGHTERSSOCIALDALKALINETRIOSENSESFAILJACKSONUNITEDANDMUCHMUCHMORE!) and Warped Tour (THEOFFSPRINGANDTHEUSUALS!) plus all the normal ones i got to get to. THEN there's work. Gotta work. Gotta save money for college. THEN there's the roadtrip. Sometime this summer i'm going to drive down to san diego. Anybody want to come along? Free room and board. About a mile away from the beach and funfunfun. Lets go! Then there's my birthday but that's not important. I should go see an R rated movie, just cos i can. I'm sure there is other stuff, but that will come later.
I just think that I should be left alone more often. Left alone outside...
PS. *tunnel spelunking on tuesday. bring a flashlight*
Friday, April 29, 2005
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Did i mention that everybody should chip in for my birthday present?
http://www.tvshowsondvd.com/newsitem.cfm?NewsID=2903
http://www.tvshowsondvd.com/newsitem.cfm?NewsID=2895
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00005JO2R/tvtome/102-4275253-3799364
That would be the most perfect birthday ever. My oldschoolshows back on my boobtube. But you guys dont have to get me any presents. As long as i have a smashing birthday party everything will be alright.
http://www.tvshowsondvd.com/newsitem.cfm?NewsID=2903
http://www.tvshowsondvd.com/newsitem.cfm?NewsID=2895
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00005JO2R/tvtome/102-4275253-3799364
That would be the most perfect birthday ever. My oldschoolshows back on my boobtube. But you guys dont have to get me any presents. As long as i have a smashing birthday party everything will be alright.
Sighing
He talked to Prutz that day. It was just Aiko, Dayu, him and later Rowena. When it started he thought it was going to be a single sided debate and it kinda was.
"Wasn't gonna happen. Isn't happening. Will never happen." is what he said to the the whole idea of him being mentored by Andy. "We're like two lions in a den. When somebody throws some meat in there, only one lion gets it."
Novak wanted to shout, "But you're STEALING Andy's meat from the next den! It's not the same, you vulture!" but he knew that that would get him nowhere. They needed to start on a different path.
Dayu started off with the emotional stuff, followed quickly by a logical followup by Aiko, which was interupted in a most PE teacherly way. Eventually everybody got to express what they felt about the situation. What else did they have left? There really was no way around the union and the administration, and now it seemed that this otherwise nice guy was stealing their xcdaddy away from them. There were tears at times, but Prutz had expected it.
"All that's left for you to do is to move on and pick up the pieces." It was harsh, but they all knew that it might come to that.
"Don't you think it's wrong," asked Novak, "to take away somebody's job, somebody's LIFE, and just throw it to the wind because you want to do exactly what andy wants to do?" But Prutz just shook his head and referred back to the lions. "It's just morally WRONG for you to exchange one life for another. That's why we, why everybody, feels that Andy is getting jipped." But it was useless. It was as vicious as a cycle as the teammates hoped Prutz's removal would be.
Sometimes Rowena would go off topic about experience or training. Novak knew that this would get them nowhere, as experience can only be gained by trying, which is exactly what they didn't want Prutz to do. Why wouldn't he back down? Perhaps he needed some persuading.
"You do know that there will be resistance." Rowena started.
"Oh i know that. But that's the your choice. Sure, i dont appreciate it when people in my reg come up to me in reg or elsewhere wearing tshirts against my coaching the team, but that's your decision. Part about being young is that you get to be immature, and if you don't want to join my team next year, you dont have to. Even the varsity runners, it makes no difference to me if every single varsity runner quits. I'm going to be head coach, even though it's hard for you to understand. And of course it'll be a big knee-jerk at first, but that's to be expected in a major transition such as this. But you just got to move on and pick up the pieces."
They all sensed a pattern now. But there was really nothing they could do about it. So they all shook hands and left. To them there was no clear 'winner' of the discussion, but Prutz sure had held his ground. He was determined, and by any other circumstances, Novak would have liked him. But the fact was that they were all getting screwed. Their only available option, now struck down by some 5'9'' PE teacher.
Novak knew that whether or not Andy got his job back, or whether or not he liked it, he would eventually have to move on. But he knew there was hope. But if he ever had to pick up the pieces, he had love, support, and friendship backing him up at FALL RUNNING CLUB '05!
"Wasn't gonna happen. Isn't happening. Will never happen." is what he said to the the whole idea of him being mentored by Andy. "We're like two lions in a den. When somebody throws some meat in there, only one lion gets it."
Novak wanted to shout, "But you're STEALING Andy's meat from the next den! It's not the same, you vulture!" but he knew that that would get him nowhere. They needed to start on a different path.
Dayu started off with the emotional stuff, followed quickly by a logical followup by Aiko, which was interupted in a most PE teacherly way. Eventually everybody got to express what they felt about the situation. What else did they have left? There really was no way around the union and the administration, and now it seemed that this otherwise nice guy was stealing their xcdaddy away from them. There were tears at times, but Prutz had expected it.
"All that's left for you to do is to move on and pick up the pieces." It was harsh, but they all knew that it might come to that.
"Don't you think it's wrong," asked Novak, "to take away somebody's job, somebody's LIFE, and just throw it to the wind because you want to do exactly what andy wants to do?" But Prutz just shook his head and referred back to the lions. "It's just morally WRONG for you to exchange one life for another. That's why we, why everybody, feels that Andy is getting jipped." But it was useless. It was as vicious as a cycle as the teammates hoped Prutz's removal would be.
Sometimes Rowena would go off topic about experience or training. Novak knew that this would get them nowhere, as experience can only be gained by trying, which is exactly what they didn't want Prutz to do. Why wouldn't he back down? Perhaps he needed some persuading.
"You do know that there will be resistance." Rowena started.
"Oh i know that. But that's the your choice. Sure, i dont appreciate it when people in my reg come up to me in reg or elsewhere wearing tshirts against my coaching the team, but that's your decision. Part about being young is that you get to be immature, and if you don't want to join my team next year, you dont have to. Even the varsity runners, it makes no difference to me if every single varsity runner quits. I'm going to be head coach, even though it's hard for you to understand. And of course it'll be a big knee-jerk at first, but that's to be expected in a major transition such as this. But you just got to move on and pick up the pieces."
They all sensed a pattern now. But there was really nothing they could do about it. So they all shook hands and left. To them there was no clear 'winner' of the discussion, but Prutz sure had held his ground. He was determined, and by any other circumstances, Novak would have liked him. But the fact was that they were all getting screwed. Their only available option, now struck down by some 5'9'' PE teacher.
Novak knew that whether or not Andy got his job back, or whether or not he liked it, he would eventually have to move on. But he knew there was hope. But if he ever had to pick up the pieces, he had love, support, and friendship backing him up at FALL RUNNING CLUB '05!
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
ABcdf
I'm taking these precious minutes from my coucher to tell you why i hate report cards. It's not that i hate report cards, or the stupid D i have in Pinocci, rather it's the way that the grades are interpreted by the reader. Here's an example. I don't try all THAT hard in math, but i get the material. In fact, nearly every test that i do poorly on can be attributed to my abundance of careless errors. This is why i have a D in precalc. Easy algebra and trig messing up my entire grade. Not fun. I don't believe however, that the the D on my soon-to-come report card should be what it says. A 'D' is just so harsh. It practically yells out at your parents "HE'S STUPID! HE'S LAZY! HE'LL NEVER GO TO COLLEGE! RESTRICT HIM NOW BEFORE HE HAS A CHANCE TO FUCK IT UP AGAIN!". I believe that if the 'D' on my report card changed to a 'd', my parents wouldn't be so angry. In fact, all grades c and below should be lower case. The only caps allowed on your report card should be A and B, to show your success at finally throwing back your math test and dancing on the old bird's face.
And comments? What a load of bullshit. "Student makes a consistant effort", "Student never does homework", "Student threatens me in the hallway". What good does that do? All the positive comments mean nothing. But then when you start getting into the higher numerals, then all of a sudden your parents start caring. What about all the times i DID do my homework. Nobody remembers that, even though i do it every single day for one class of the other. Goddamn it.. Pinocci's hw is unreasonable anyway.
Maybe i need to try harder. and maybe i should beg pinocci to put me back on the list. and maybe i should just get it over with and fail.
And comments? What a load of bullshit. "Student makes a consistant effort", "Student never does homework", "Student threatens me in the hallway". What good does that do? All the positive comments mean nothing. But then when you start getting into the higher numerals, then all of a sudden your parents start caring. What about all the times i DID do my homework. Nobody remembers that, even though i do it every single day for one class of the other. Goddamn it.. Pinocci's hw is unreasonable anyway.
Maybe i need to try harder. and maybe i should beg pinocci to put me back on the list. and maybe i should just get it over with and fail.
Monday, April 25, 2005
BurnSnapSnap
Barney always taught me three things: 1) Love thy neighbor 2) Thou shalt not kill and 3) Everybody is special. Now the first two might have been Jesus, but number 3 is just bullshit.
I guess we are all, to an extent, different. i don't look like anybody but my family and I'm not identical to anybody who could be called 'my twin'. But goddamn if I don't feel so bland. There are people who are really good at what they do, but somewhere out there is one person who can operate at the same level as the first person. There is only one 'best' in the world and only he can truly feel special. The rest of us just have to sit on our hands until somebody in a big, violet, prehistoric carnivore tells us that we're "special".
Special how? There are these people who try to prove that they're special. You know who I'm talking about. Artists. don't get me wrong. I like art. Pretty pictures, skillful sculptures, masterpiece theatre, beautiful symphonies...bullshit. Short stories, rock songs, photographs. Bullshit. Giant pizza's, videogames, and sex in the park. All bullshit. But you know what i hate most of all? Poetry.
Poetry has got to be the biggest crock of bullshit of all time. Right after modern art, and that's saying quite a bit. When you can throw a bunch of words together and draw imaginary lines between coincidental words, accidental phrasing, and haphazard placement then you, my friend, have got yourself an imaginary artform. It's just so full of shit, I can't stand it.
I guess that's why I hate art so much. It has too much potential to be faked. To be bluffed. To be exaggerated and overrated. If you took that away, I wouldn't think too unhighly of it. But the fact is, art is abused, harassed, and, unfortunately, spoken for. Art is not special. Just like each and every single one of us.
I guess we are all, to an extent, different. i don't look like anybody but my family and I'm not identical to anybody who could be called 'my twin'. But goddamn if I don't feel so bland. There are people who are really good at what they do, but somewhere out there is one person who can operate at the same level as the first person. There is only one 'best' in the world and only he can truly feel special. The rest of us just have to sit on our hands until somebody in a big, violet, prehistoric carnivore tells us that we're "special".
Special how? There are these people who try to prove that they're special. You know who I'm talking about. Artists. don't get me wrong. I like art. Pretty pictures, skillful sculptures, masterpiece theatre, beautiful symphonies...bullshit. Short stories, rock songs, photographs. Bullshit. Giant pizza's, videogames, and sex in the park. All bullshit. But you know what i hate most of all? Poetry.
Poetry has got to be the biggest crock of bullshit of all time. Right after modern art, and that's saying quite a bit. When you can throw a bunch of words together and draw imaginary lines between coincidental words, accidental phrasing, and haphazard placement then you, my friend, have got yourself an imaginary artform. It's just so full of shit, I can't stand it.
I guess that's why I hate art so much. It has too much potential to be faked. To be bluffed. To be exaggerated and overrated. If you took that away, I wouldn't think too unhighly of it. But the fact is, art is abused, harassed, and, unfortunately, spoken for. Art is not special. Just like each and every single one of us.
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