Patrick Returns

I call it....Patrick Gets Cold

One day our friend Patrick went for a walk in the park. It was nippy out, so he put on a sweater. He got down to the park and smelled the fresh air. It was very nice.

"Look at all the trees!" he exclaimed. "Im going to count them". And he did. 1 tree....2 tree....3 tree...4 tree. The last tree looked a little funny. It was practically bare except for one origami flower some gentle sould had put on the topmost branch.

As he looked and admired, he felt something catch his sweater. Patrick, with his short attention span, immediately found a shiny nickel and was divirted from the thread from his sweater, quickly unraveling the whole thing.

After becoming five cents richer, Patrick realized that he was much, much colder. His sweater had come undone!

"Oh NO!" cried Patrick, "My girlfriend made that for me!". Patrick continued his walk, although his favorite sweater was now a loose ball of yarn. He carried it with him, maybe his girlfriend would make it into a new sweater. But Patrick was cold now, he could not wait for a new sweatshirt. He came to the decision that he must borrow somebody elses. He would probably lend a sweatshirt to a poor soul, why would anybody else do different?

He spotted a pretty girl with nice dark hair. She had on a black sweater with a cartoon character on it. It was very nice. She looked kind of sad. Patrick walked up to her and asked her what was wrong.

"Oh nothing" she said. Patrick didn't really believe her, but it was cold and he needed her sweater.

"Look, i'll level with you. Its cold out and i need a sweater. Would you mind terribly if i borrowed yours?"

She looked at him funny. Did he really ask her that? He didnt even look like he could fit it because he was so small. Why would she give her sweater to him when there were obviously guys who would fill it up the whole way and not waste valuable space.

"mmmm...Actually, it IS rather chilly out, would you mind terribly if i keep it?"

"No...not at all. Thank you for your time." Patrick walked away. He was sad but didn't really mind. Mind over matter, he thought. And besides, there was another pretty girl right across the road, he might go and ask her...


That all you get for now. Maybe later i'll finish it.

Curiously Strong...

I like the altoids slogan 'curiously strong mints'. Its just so awesome cos it fits. Like solid listerine. But then their sour altoids, i mean, they are STILL curiously strong, but thats not always a good thing. I do like the sours its just taht they taste like a citrusy peel. Like the tangerine sours taste good, but they taste like they put the peel in there too. I remember that one time Dayu ate that whole lemon to get out of class 3 minuts early. That was highlarious.

BananaBread

A little while ago when i was eating my precious banana bread slathered with my favorite fake butter, i sneezed causing momentary delight. Half a second later i realized that that savory bananabread slathered with my favorite butter had made its presence known...in my nose, causing discomfort. after drinking about 2 glasses of milk, nothing had worked, so i did the smart thing...i poured some milk down my nose. you might be thinking "wrong hole, dumbass", but hey, it worked. so now my nose is a picnic ground and i am left wondering: am i doomed to forget this miniscule, yet characterizing event? so i thought about what i should do and i decided to make a poemy thing about the experience. i call it, Nose PicKnic...enjoy.

Yogurt butter, my favorite spread
On my sweet banana bread
But today my breadly treat
Could be considered anything but sweet
Its forgotton vow to give me yum
Has ended so ungratefully in my tum

I ate my bread with great delight
Until my chewing turned to fright
I felt that sneeze a mile off
And tried to block it with a cough
But my resistance was fought in vain
This dreadful sneeze, it was my bane

With fright'ning force this wind it blew
And caused destruction every way it knew
Mostly though i felt a pain from my nose
And i felt it e'ery way my nose knows
When i recovered, confirmed was my fear
Of my sweet banana bread, stuck in here

I flew to the fridge, and searched for the cure
The milk, the whole milk, cow-ly pure
I drank near the whole thing in quite a flash
My head reeling, from the milk, and the dash
When it did not work i became even more scrd
Cos the plan that i had my nose never heard

Quick thinking be me as i tilted my head
If i did this wrong i just might be dead
Resting the carton up on my chin
I soon began cursing my nostrils so thin
Pouring the white liquid into my nose
I wished i poured better, 'stead of all over my clothes

I coughed and i hacked and i hexxed my illwitting
Until i found that the bread was tired and quitting
It retreated to my throat, desperate for ground
But sadly, the banana bread soon found
It was caught in a trap, of my own design
I call it a swallow, no need to post signs

So now ends my tale of pain and defeat
Of this once, yummy and savoury treat
Its gone now, exiled to my big gut
Only to depart from there, out of my butt
Now i must leave, but you know the moral
If you eat banana bread, make it not nasal, but oral



Fin!

I Pledge

I pledge, to my unicycle
that i will ride you every day that i can
i will do my best
to ride you with comfort and pleasure
and to hit kelly and connie and stina
for they are the only people who read this
when they make jokes about this pledge
sounding like a promise to rape my unicycle
which i would never do
because i respect you too much
and yea
god bless san francisco, california.

Obliterate

Right now. There are two things. Two things in my life. In my life that need to be. Need to be. Be completely and utterly destroyed.

1) Any unnecessary feelings which include, but are not limited to : sadness for any length of time longer than 2 days, depression of any sort, and feeling i do not understand (basically the one we call 'summer').

2) Any unnecessary people. These people include Muniboy. Mothboy. Poserboy. Swirlyskirt. and the Shepard.




Ive noticed that everyday this school year i have met a hot girl and a crazy person. Example: AP Psych and Precalc - Wow. Whoever that senior is. I must get closer to. At least get shot down by. That same day i met the fisherman. Next day - precalc. Other very hot girl. i loves my seniors. same day. banging head against book guy.

Must destroy.