Thats Pat For You

Actually. Pat is the guy i made up in Health Ed. It's what we named the flippable kitty that was the crackerjacks prize, who i later used for Health Ed tests. Pat has been to tibet, and has evil friends named Cat and...somethingelse. Pat has committed suicide and exploded and been burned to death. Pat is my alterego and theres nothing i can do about it.


Pat the Bat just sounded good. Nobody would like Matt the Batt.

Patrick III

I'll make this quick...

Patrick was sitting on a bench, desperately cold, thinking about his situation and weighing his options. Damn, he thought. Not one person. He soon drifted away from whatever he was thinking and remembered his coach's and teammates words of wisdom. Things like, RUN FASTER! or MOVE YOUR LEGS, WORM! but what stuck in his head was what his friend said to him on hill runs, mind over matter.

Mind over matter, Patrick thought. Hmmmm.... Maybe he wasn't really cold anyway. What was cold other than a icky feeling that served him no use. He was so enlightened that he stood up, and started to walk briskly. Just keep moving... Work up a sweat... Mind over matter... He passed many people; he just smiled and waved.

He neared the end of the park, and it being dusk, Patrick power-walked into the setting sun. After which he was extremely burned. Not suprisingly, Patrick died. I mean, the sun IS really hot. The funeral was very lovely. It was warm, so nobody needed a sweater.



I really had to get off so all literary skill faded and all hell broke loose. Be sure to look for more adventures from our little friend. Tata!

Patrick Part 2

Ok. So, the last time we saw Patrick, he had inadvertently destroyed his sweater at the park and was looking for somebody to lend him theres. Patrick was about to ask this one girl across the road. She had dark features and short purple hair. The sweater she had on was black laced with purple color and had a ghost on the front. Patrick thought it looked cool and was already thinking about sporting it. He jogged up to her.

"Hey. Thats a nice sweater". He waited for her reply. None came. She just stopped. And stared. Her eyes were like daggers. "As you can see, i do not have a sweater and i am very cold. I noticed that you are wearing a heavy, longsleeve shirt and was wondering if i could perchance borrow your sweater?" Still nothing. Her eyes just stabbed at him. He tried to stare back, but he soon gave up. Nothing seemed to penetrate her gaze, so he left her. She resumed walking.

Wow. That was weird, Patrick thought. No worries though. He shook it off. There was still another person on the road. She looked older than Patrick. With orange hair, and a long blue skirt...made of felt? He didnt know, but he was cold and he noticed her warm sweater. She was holding it. She didnt really need it apparently. He went over.

"Excuse me miss. I notice you are holding a sweater. You might not think its cold, but i sure do and i would really appreciate it if you would be so kind as to lend me your sweater." He tried to be extra polite. She looked willing enough.

"Im sorry, but this sweater is currently reserved. My friend might meet me here if he feels like it and i really dont want him to get cold if he comes back". Her voice was very lovely, Patrick thought.

"Well, perhaps i could wear it until your friend came, if he does indeed come" almost desperate for the unused sweater.

"No, i just couldn't. It would probably be stetched out after you used it and if my friend did come, it just would not fit him anymore. Im terribly sorry, but i must be on my way. It was a pleasure talking with you." She shook his hand, turned around, and continued her walk.

Patrick didn't seem to have ANY luck that day. He sat down on a bench and considered his options...


Well. Thats it for Patrick right now. I hope you have fun with it. Rich in symbolism. Dr. Yuan would be proud.

Patrick Returns

I call it....Patrick Gets Cold

One day our friend Patrick went for a walk in the park. It was nippy out, so he put on a sweater. He got down to the park and smelled the fresh air. It was very nice.

"Look at all the trees!" he exclaimed. "Im going to count them". And he did. 1 tree....2 tree....3 tree...4 tree. The last tree looked a little funny. It was practically bare except for one origami flower some gentle sould had put on the topmost branch.

As he looked and admired, he felt something catch his sweater. Patrick, with his short attention span, immediately found a shiny nickel and was divirted from the thread from his sweater, quickly unraveling the whole thing.

After becoming five cents richer, Patrick realized that he was much, much colder. His sweater had come undone!

"Oh NO!" cried Patrick, "My girlfriend made that for me!". Patrick continued his walk, although his favorite sweater was now a loose ball of yarn. He carried it with him, maybe his girlfriend would make it into a new sweater. But Patrick was cold now, he could not wait for a new sweatshirt. He came to the decision that he must borrow somebody elses. He would probably lend a sweatshirt to a poor soul, why would anybody else do different?

He spotted a pretty girl with nice dark hair. She had on a black sweater with a cartoon character on it. It was very nice. She looked kind of sad. Patrick walked up to her and asked her what was wrong.

"Oh nothing" she said. Patrick didn't really believe her, but it was cold and he needed her sweater.

"Look, i'll level with you. Its cold out and i need a sweater. Would you mind terribly if i borrowed yours?"

She looked at him funny. Did he really ask her that? He didnt even look like he could fit it because he was so small. Why would she give her sweater to him when there were obviously guys who would fill it up the whole way and not waste valuable space.

"mmmm...Actually, it IS rather chilly out, would you mind terribly if i keep it?"

"No...not at all. Thank you for your time." Patrick walked away. He was sad but didn't really mind. Mind over matter, he thought. And besides, there was another pretty girl right across the road, he might go and ask her...


That all you get for now. Maybe later i'll finish it.

Curiously Strong...

I like the altoids slogan 'curiously strong mints'. Its just so awesome cos it fits. Like solid listerine. But then their sour altoids, i mean, they are STILL curiously strong, but thats not always a good thing. I do like the sours its just taht they taste like a citrusy peel. Like the tangerine sours taste good, but they taste like they put the peel in there too. I remember that one time Dayu ate that whole lemon to get out of class 3 minuts early. That was highlarious.

BananaBread

A little while ago when i was eating my precious banana bread slathered with my favorite fake butter, i sneezed causing momentary delight. Half a second later i realized that that savory bananabread slathered with my favorite butter had made its presence known...in my nose, causing discomfort. after drinking about 2 glasses of milk, nothing had worked, so i did the smart thing...i poured some milk down my nose. you might be thinking "wrong hole, dumbass", but hey, it worked. so now my nose is a picnic ground and i am left wondering: am i doomed to forget this miniscule, yet characterizing event? so i thought about what i should do and i decided to make a poemy thing about the experience. i call it, Nose PicKnic...enjoy.

Yogurt butter, my favorite spread
On my sweet banana bread
But today my breadly treat
Could be considered anything but sweet
Its forgotton vow to give me yum
Has ended so ungratefully in my tum

I ate my bread with great delight
Until my chewing turned to fright
I felt that sneeze a mile off
And tried to block it with a cough
But my resistance was fought in vain
This dreadful sneeze, it was my bane

With fright'ning force this wind it blew
And caused destruction every way it knew
Mostly though i felt a pain from my nose
And i felt it e'ery way my nose knows
When i recovered, confirmed was my fear
Of my sweet banana bread, stuck in here

I flew to the fridge, and searched for the cure
The milk, the whole milk, cow-ly pure
I drank near the whole thing in quite a flash
My head reeling, from the milk, and the dash
When it did not work i became even more scrd
Cos the plan that i had my nose never heard

Quick thinking be me as i tilted my head
If i did this wrong i just might be dead
Resting the carton up on my chin
I soon began cursing my nostrils so thin
Pouring the white liquid into my nose
I wished i poured better, 'stead of all over my clothes

I coughed and i hacked and i hexxed my illwitting
Until i found that the bread was tired and quitting
It retreated to my throat, desperate for ground
But sadly, the banana bread soon found
It was caught in a trap, of my own design
I call it a swallow, no need to post signs

So now ends my tale of pain and defeat
Of this once, yummy and savoury treat
Its gone now, exiled to my big gut
Only to depart from there, out of my butt
Now i must leave, but you know the moral
If you eat banana bread, make it not nasal, but oral



Fin!

I Pledge

I pledge, to my unicycle
that i will ride you every day that i can
i will do my best
to ride you with comfort and pleasure
and to hit kelly and connie and stina
for they are the only people who read this
when they make jokes about this pledge
sounding like a promise to rape my unicycle
which i would never do
because i respect you too much
and yea
god bless san francisco, california.

Obliterate

Right now. There are two things. Two things in my life. In my life that need to be. Need to be. Be completely and utterly destroyed.

1) Any unnecessary feelings which include, but are not limited to : sadness for any length of time longer than 2 days, depression of any sort, and feeling i do not understand (basically the one we call 'summer').

2) Any unnecessary people. These people include Muniboy. Mothboy. Poserboy. Swirlyskirt. and the Shepard.




Ive noticed that everyday this school year i have met a hot girl and a crazy person. Example: AP Psych and Precalc - Wow. Whoever that senior is. I must get closer to. At least get shot down by. That same day i met the fisherman. Next day - precalc. Other very hot girl. i loves my seniors. same day. banging head against book guy.

Must destroy.

Ins And Outs...What Else?

Who wouldnt be pleased with themselves? I mean thats one and a half really cos one was just an assumption boosted by an enormous part of my brain. and no thats not the one that helps me spell 'necessary'. then i got to get to the 3 outs. yea i guess its 3. i dont want it to be but it should be. considering he are ate the other two. well i guess i are ate one of his. and yea. i guess. maybe i'll just leave it at two. anyway. shouldnt YOU be jealous of ME? and not the other way around. god i feel so much anger toward everyone else cos i have to try so hard to get by. it doesnt look it. but sometimes, when you just sit and listen to the white noise on the radio, you get zoned out and really know what youre feeling. i wish i knew that earlier. its so....zen or stoner....but it works kinda. i guess im as green this way as i am the other way...maybe i should stop being a little bitch and just stop blogging. that way everything stays inside where it can never be used to my disadvantage. cos then nobody would know...maybe its better that way?

i guess gus is right tho...


and i really like the stickers that say "kiss me, im carbon based"